Thoughts of a Black Woman

Part 3

~The Funny Friend~

They exist so you can be happy. They are there to make you laugh. Always asking if you're okay and if you're not they make you laugh and smile until you are. This is a funny friend. The side character in every story. The ones used for comedic relief; makes you laugh so the hard times don't seem so tense. When you look at pictures of them all you see are smiles and funny faces. So great to be around they are.

The funny friend is always surrounded by people and this makes complete sense. The funny friend loves to watch people laugh and smile and it's a bonus if they are the cause of it. They tell jokes at their own expense if you feel comfortable about it. The same jokes that they go to sleep crying about. But that doesn't matter because you're laughing right? Even during that one school lockdown you were able to make eye contact with that friend and still smile, because if laughter is the best medicine then the funny friend will always be a drug dealer. But you refused to see while you were laughing, they were dying inside.

You continue to excuse the things you missed. Why were their hands and legs always shaking? Because they are just energetic I guess. Why did they always wear long sleeves or some type of jacket, even during the summer, to cover their arms? They were just always cold I guess. Why didn't you try to help them when you saw them crying? They said it was just sweat I guess. A lame excuse. Alright final question you asshole. How come when your friend, and I use that term lightly, told you what was going on with them and how they were struggling you laughed in their face and asked for more jokes? .... Yeah I figured you wouldn't have an answer to that one.

I bet every single funny friend out there is hoping that one day you will see the mask that they hide behind daily, but you never do until it's too late. Every time you call your funny friend to hang out they use that time to uplift you and make sure you are alright only for them to go home and cry alone. Of course you knew but you were just too busy laughing at their misery.

Humor is a tragically beautiful way of easing tension in the middle of unsettling circumstances and making others happy. But that is the exact reason it's tragically beautiful, because only the person going through that pain notices the tragedy. The funny friend doesn't blame you though, in fact they don't tell you for a reason. They simply don't want to burden you. A funny friend doesn't mean to be so private. What will happen when they stop laughing? The funny friend will be forced to deal with their struggles head on and they're not ready for that.

The funny friend always puts others' happiness before theirs, as if being around happy people will somehow make them happy. Maybe the smile they put on in front of you is just a mask. How can they turn their sadness on and off like a switch? Well they can't. The sadness has and will always be there just hidden by a few jokes here and there. You laugh so hard that your eyes close and you miss the vulnerability. You miss it because you're too busy laughing.

But of course you could ignore my warning and continue your life being an asshole while your friend is struggling but still finding ways to make you happy. Just remember when you are wearing all black in a church, I hope you stand in front of your friend's family and tell them the truth. That being you, their supposed friend, laughed when they told you what was wrong. The truth being you, their supposed friend, never checked up on them unless you had a problem. The truth is that you, their supposed friend, ignore everything that was wrong and you let your friend die. Because let's be honest you never cared and don't be surprised if there's a note with bloodstains and dried tears that says the exact same thing.

Don't be an asshole or a jerkwad or an idiot. Help your friends, even if they don't ask. Maybe the laughs and the jokes are the way that they scream, because it's always the ones who don't ask that need the most help.