Heartless

6

I just made a horrible mistake, but it somehow felt right. We were not far apart and I had just agreed to create an ally with my worst enemy. We were both silent afterward, mostly because it was unexpected for me to even consider agreeing. A part of me felt like this was the most unreasonable choice ever, but another part, felt like this was the perfect plan.

"You are?" He shifted back. His face made a clear statement of shock and confusion.

"Why not? I get to kill someone." I smirked.

"I guess you do," he smirked back, "why are you here alone on Christmas?" He blurted out.

My head made a quick change of direction, "It's not much of your business, is it?"

"My bad. But we will be working together for a while, so might as well get to know each other. It might be a shocker that I do know quite a bit about you." Mr. Know-it-all looked back in my direction after roaming to shelves.

"You know nothing about me," I scoffed.

"Neither do you," he said.

I guess a part of that was true. I don't know who my parents are and I didn't know where I was going more than half of the time. I hoped my parents were somewhat decent. A mum who kissed you every time you scraped it on the street floor or a dad who would swing you over a puddle every time. I learned that by looking at cute families walking towards the theaters. But I doubt that ever was the case. I would hide underneath the staircase and observe the selfish parents that would drop off their hopeless kids. The list came from a couple who seemed to hate each other but kept saying "dear" in the most loveable way, a mother with 6 hands tugging on her dress from the age range of a possible 4 months to 8 years and her dropping them off at the counter, and a prostitute that comes in every two years. I bet out of the 30 girls in the orphanage, 3 parents did actually care for their child to send them. Which part of it didn't make sense, because the orphanage looked like an 18th-century broken-down building.

I was all over the place. And it only occurred to me now that I didn't know who I was or what my meaning was in this hopeless world. Why did the universe decide to plant me up in this ratchet world with rude nuns and dying dogs left on the street? This is ridiculous. Phoenix said three words, and now I'm letting conspiracy theories take over my entire existence.

"Well then, why are you here? Shouldn't you be spending the night drunk by Christmas lights in a room filled with ignorant people?" I said sarcastically.

"Not really. Didn't have much to do though. So I thought I could spend a good amount of time with you," he said with a mischievous smirk plastered across his conceited face.

"Stop it or I'm going to barf." I left across the room, not caring if Phoenix was still in my home or not.

"You're going to leave me here?" He echoed across the room into the hallway.

"It's annoying to look at you!" I shouted back.

"Fine, I'll just leave! I don't expect you to escort me out of here?" His voice began to weaken as I strutted away from the library.

"No, you can just jump off the window!"

Two days have passed without another talk with Phoenix and everything was back to normal. I hadn't told anyone about my encounter, only because I knew there would be continuous speculations as to why I would become an ally with a certain someone, which I couldn't complain about. I did realize it all sounded a tad ridiculous. Only because it seemed unrealistic to work with each other and have a "decent" companionship as partners when we were also on the urge to kill each other. I knew that I would be a good leader if I told at least Brea, but it felt right to keep it to myself. Most of the plan involved Phoenix's entire court and not mine. I was just there to please Winston.

New Year's was arriving soon and I had nothing planned. Of course, everyone was allowed to go back to their wonderful families because I didn't need to walk into my assistants getting all flirty with the drunken busboy in my bedroom.

"So, you're not going to do anything about the whole Phoenix situation?" Brea walked and sat by me on the steps into my garden. I came specifically here to take a breather but it seemed that wasn't a possibility.

"Do you think I should do something about it?" I asked even though I had things planned out.

"Yes, the plan was butchered. But that doesn't mean you can't use your other skills to grab onto him," she said, "It's late. I need to go. But think about it." And from that, I was left on the steps, finally able to take in the cold air that flared up through my nose, into my lungs that felt like they were collapsing.

I began to question if whatever Phoenix said was just tricky to get into my manor and get me wrapped around him, but he did end up calling me a few days later.

"Would you like to meet me tomorrow?" he asked over the phone.

"Where?" I asked suspiciously.

"Anywhere you would like. Just somewhere secluded. We don't want to be seen together."

"I guess we don't. Alright, I believe we could be at the corner of a secluded place I often visit. I'll send you the address. Meet me at 10. Don't be late." And from that, I hung up the call and went to bed.

I woke up at 5 am, mostly ended up sleeping for most of the night. No matter how much I would read or take my regular sleeping pills, they don't seem to work. But I was, of course, I was still tired, so I made the most absurd decision of drinking coffee instead of tea. First of all, a part of me didn't know there was coffee laying around in my manor. No one drinks coffee- it's disgusting. But I thought if I was going to end up spending my day, chatting with the most preposterous human being, I should at least show courtesy to not fall asleep during his constant babbling. I had laid out my clothes the night before. I don't know why I did; just don't question me. A ruffled blouse and leather flared pants fitted me, below an ink-black coat that I truly loved. Possibly the only thing I loved in my life.

"Where are you like that, dressed so fancily?" Judy peeped through the crack of my door as I peered myself across the mirror. Sometimes, I tell myself that she needs to learn how to stay away and keep to herself. I didn't hire her for her to butt in my time.

I sighed, "Just going to get a cup of tea and walk around," I grabbed my purse and pushed my way out of the room, "oh, and don't expect me to arrive any time soon."

I got into my car and drove to the destination I was supposed to meet Phoenix. The address was to a small "secret" garden that I was greeted with when I was 17 and running away from the hideousness that is in the streets. The secluded room looked very much abandoned, and every time I visited it, no one was around to take care of the beautiful flowers and the vines that took over the legs of the bench. These days I hadn't visited it, so when I came in, half of the leaves had crumpled up and fallen over onto the now green and mossy garden gnomes. But it's still really cold and snowing most of the time.

"Is this supposed to be your dreamy and euphoric secret garden because-" I heard a voice come in?

"If you're going to make fun of it, then you might as well leave." I cut him. "Plus, it's winter and I'm not an ice fairy that can make ice sculptures."

"Alright, fair enough."

"So, tell me what's the plan?" I said, hurrying to get this all over with.

We ended up talking for about 45min till we both felt like our fingers were falling off and frostbites were taking over the tips of our ears. But we made sure the plan was well established. It was simple enough. All we had to do was load 3 dozen guns, use 30 of all Phoenix's workers (none of mine of course), study the location of where we will meet him, and just shoot till we no longer have the power to do so.

He drove me up back to my court, where he let me go a little farther from the gate. He was quite a smooth talker. He had tricks up his sleeves that got me talking about my own life, which now I sort of regret, but it was quite pleasing.

"Call me." The corners of his lips curved as he held the door open for me.

"Sure," I said somewhat sarcastically, but my tone was off.

From that, he drove away, with both of us smiling secretly underneath our emotionless faces.