Heartless

9

Over time, I met with Ethan often. I would say once or twice a week. It became this regular thing and it did bring up some suspicions from both of our courts. Brea took all the small clues and puzzled them together since she was the first to find out that we would have a few short afternoon teas that ended up taking a lot more hours than expected. But we were not dating! Brea did have trouble understanding that, I've got to say.

"No bloody way! You guys are dating?" She shouted across the room after I had hinted to her that her suspicions were somewhat correct. Her eyes were wide open and her jaw straight towards the ground. I couldn't quite tell if she was confused or just extremely surprised and relieved.

"No! No we are not! Please don't ever say that or I will kick you out! You know I would never date someone." I stood up to her and sprinted across to her before she would continue shouting, spreading my secret across the nation.

"Alright alright," she whispered more discreetly, "then what is this? How long has this been going on? You have to stop beating around the bush and just tell me." She sits on the sofa, gesturing to me to sit next to her.

I didn't feel comfortable though so I slid onto the other leather sofa two meters away. "Oh, I don't know. I mean this is just so unlike me don't you think?"

"Yes, very much."

"And...," I paused, hesitant to tell her my current feelings, "don't tell anyone this, but I've been recently having these feelings or emotions." I lifted my hand and patted my chest where my heart was beating extremely fast. "It's that same feeling I had with Cameron."

"I haven't heard that name in a while. I'm pretty sure it was unspoken around you after you killed him." A soft smile curled by her pink tone lips, "if it's the exact feeling that you had when you were in love with Cameron, then- "

"I was never in love with him!" I cut her off, shocked by the statement she had spoken loudly off.

"Well, you seemed pretty obsessed with him. But at the same time, you wouldn't have killed him if you were obsessed with him, right?" Her voice was high, indicating that she was teasing me, which I hate.

"Right," I said directly.

"Well you haven't killed Phoenix yet, so maybe you are starting to fall for him. Has he made a move yet, if you know what I mean?" She teased me again.

"Oh shut up! Go back to work!" I laughed angrily and walked back to my room, shutting myself away from whatever that was. I mean, was she right?

The door was jammed with piles of clothes behind it from the days I had to choose my outfits when going out with Ethan. Red but mostly black lingered among the fabrics. From Chanel designs to the cheap lost pearl earring I got in the summer of 65'. I had only realized then the effort I would put in just to look like the most stunning female he'd ever seen. Impressing some guy was never on my radar, so this was not right.

Since it was February, the snow had increased by quite a bit. The window seal was covered with sharp snow crystals and the garden below was hardly showing up other than the drive which I asked to be removed every morning. The news had reported a worsening in the snowfall and it was best to stay home or one could get easily stuck on their way out. This meant that our regular spot for meeting with each other was closed and that one of us would have to come up with a better idea.

A ringing sound echoed through my office to my closed room. I walked out annoyed that I couldn't get a bit of peace around here these days. Everyone was busy responding to the abundance of letters I've been getting or sending out hilarious threats to my enemies which I of course will not be spending my time focusing on those ridiculous fools other than my workers, but it's fun knowing they will be waiting in agitating nervousness when I never cared for them in the first place.