God,
i hate myself.
because im here and yet the stars don't listen.
because im here and i do stupid things.
because im here and yet the rain pours down on me-
drenches me.
why do i do stupid things?
because i always end up regretting what i do.
because i always end up falling for the person again, after i leave.
because i always am so messed up.
Stars-
can you hear me?
But you only answer with a glimmer of light and the milk way sparkling above.
And the maker of humans,
can you hear me?
But you only answer after it has become too late.
What do i do?
i have no where,
no where,
to escape.
Stars,
please help me.
Grant my wishes,
my dreams,
my own milky way.
Someone,
help me.
i hate myself so much-
but i guess im wise enough to not want to die.
but i just can't help it-
i hate myself.
is this some kind of reward for the pains i've endured?
the days i fled the bathtub,
drained my tears down the shower?
for everything had gone wrong.
Everything is going wrong, at this point.
i cant escape. i cant get out.
but i love where i live, its just me.
stars,
God,
someone.
help me love myself,
embrace myself.
Want me.
_________________________________________
Footnotes
^rant of the world that i live in
*lifes so hard, and just sucks right now
*Listening to "Love You in My Mind" by Brynn Cartelli
9.23.21
YOU ARE READING
When the Night falls | A collective of poems
PoetryBeing an ordinary human is not so ordinary when you have lots of pitfalls in your life especially with the fact that you have a chronic illness. But, my life is still ordinary, I guess. Constant nagging of my siblings. Constant overprotective of my...
