Fireafy bcuz why not?

Info on why i havent updated in awhile

So you may have noticed I haven't been able to update in awhile so lemme explain — I'm really devastated right now and I may not write for awhile

On Friday, November the 19th at 4 in the morning my apartment had a fire accident and it took up like half of the space in that apartment. We didn't have working smoke detectors or a fire extinguisher. I woke up to the smell of smoke and panicked  yelling. I heard one of my sister's yelling "cover your faces and get out!" — I also heard my cats under the bed, I heard a collar that had a bell on it. At the time I was naked because that's how I sleep I wrapped a blanket around me and left as soon as possible. I thought my cats would be okay and that they'd escape but no. They hid under the bed and that bed had a lot of stuff under it. My cats passed out and died from suffocation of inhaling smoke.

It was from a small little candle cause my mom was doing an alter ritual — the candle was supposed to bring wealth and while insurance and suing the apartment company for not having working smoke detectors or a fire extinguisher is a good way of bringing wealth, it wasn't worth it now that we've lost mostly everything we had and our beloved cats.
And since the fire started when it was a blood moon probably makes it worse.

Sock and Nugget were only a year old. They were only a month apart from each other and they didn't deserve to die such a horrible death. I'd rather them die of old age if anything. Nugget was my cat and Sock was my older sister's (middle child) cat and I miss them so much. I want my babies back, I want the memories from my home back (my memory is very bad and I can barely remember good times I've had.)

My phone burned in the fire but someone was kind enough to give me their old iPhone 6s - it has no SIM card but please if you have a pet or something you love, please hold them dearly because you'll never know when they'll be lifeless and cold dead bodies.

I'm sorry if I worded that horribly but I'm so close to offing myself — I wanna hold my kitties, I wanna pet them, I wanna play with them. They were such sweet and hilarious cats. I just want them to look at me with the most stupid look.