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HOPE WAS TRYING to calm herself down, as she was hyperventilating and was on the verge of having another panic attack. She thought about it for a while and came to the conclusion that she was the destruction of her own family, and she wanted to avoid that.
When she first met her father and they spent time bonding with one another, she never wanted to let him go. But he left her.
Though, as she was just a little kid back then, she thought it was her fault — believing she did something wrong to make him leave her.
So, after that, she was always cautious about other people, even her own mother. She never got close to people fearing that they would leave her, and if she happened to form a bond with someone she would break it off fearing that they would eventually leave her. She wanted to be in control of who abandoned her, and she never wanted that to happen again.
She blamed herself for the death of her mother, father, and Uncle Elijah, believing that she was the cause of it. She felt like if she was never even born then they would all still be living their lives without the constant worry of their enemies trying to get to Hope, or the mistakes she made, or anything related to her. She felt her family would be better off without her. So, she found a solution.
She was going to go back in time to make sure that she was never born. Maybe it sounded a little crazy, but that's what she was. At least that's what she thought.
She thought she was crazy for believing that someone would stay with her, that someone would hold her when she needed it and would tell her that they would never leave her. And though her mother used to do that every once in a while, she was gone. She broke her promise and Hope couldn't take that.
Then there was her father, the great Klaus Mikaelson. The Original Hybrid who was feared by all, though he never scared her. He made her feel safe, like she was at peace. But he left her just like everyone else along with her Uncle Elijah. She knew that the Hollow took some part in the destruction of the Mikaelson family, but she still blamed herself. She didn't think that she was her family's Hope anymore, she thought that she was just a pathetic girl who killed them all. But that wouldn't affect her anymore.
She wouldn't even exist once she made sure she wasn't going to be born.
But, Hope Mikaelson was in such a state that she didn't say the spell correctly, or look at what it did.
She thought it was supposed to send her back in time, about two hours before her parents would sleep with each other, but she was wrong. She thought the spell would make her disappear after the time that her parents had originally slept with each other, but she was wrong.
(Instead, she would meet face to face with her father, and her emotions would go haywire giving him memories of their time together, and the spell would just fix her to the time she landed in.)
And once she calmed down, she got ready to cast the spell, still not aware of the spell's real meaning.
"Remitte me ad praeteritum, ad mmx," she chanted, her eyes shut tight, trying not to let anymore tears fall from her lashes. She had to stay strong.
"Remitte me ad praeteritum, ad mmx," she chanted, channeling all of her power into the spell. She had to stay strong.
"Remitte me ad praeteritum, ad mmx," she chanted, feeling the spell working. She had to stay strong.
"Remitte me ad praeteritum, ad mmx," she chanted one last time, feeling herself get lighter and lighter until she couldn't feel anything anymore. She had stayed strong.
