Rumpleteazer is bored and decides to bother Munkustrap.
This was originally going to be a straightforward Rumpleteazer x Munkustrap story but I thought that was boring. This is a more comedic take.
Rated G for action scenes and general talks about...
"I hope you two will love my latest creation." Nona had finished boiling a plain chicken breast with carrot slices on the side for the pair. Normally, the cats would just steal their owners' meals over their bowls of premade food; Nona opted to make them their own breakfast-and-lunch meal in their absence on their first morning alone. One blue plate in front of Mao, one red plate in front of Mio. When the two cats yowled in confusion, Nona quickly swapped the plates. One blue plate for Mio, one red plate for Mao.
"I'll see you two in the evening." With that, she grabbed her overcoat, slipped on her galoshes, and exited the home before locking the front door. She hoped that the pair would not get into any trouble.
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Mungojerrie was shaking his piece of chicken as if it were a toy in his mouth. He wasn't used to getting human dinners gifted to him instead of them being stolen. After determining that the chicken wasn't poisoned, Mungojerrie happily started to scarf his meal down. He pushed the carrots off to the side, though, as he was not a fan of them.
"Why'd ya think the chicken was poisoned?", his sister asked.
"I dunno" was his only answer.
Rumpleteazer, on the other hand, was a vacuum from the start. It wasn't too long before her portion of carrots was off the plate. Her face and front paws were covered in small bits of carrot. In spite of her appetite, the chicken remained untouched. Instead of the chicken, she reached for the abandoned carrots on her brother's plate. Before she could sink her teeth into a carrot slice, Mungojerrie batted at her nose.
"Rumpleteazer", he cautioned, "why aren't ya gonna eat your chicken?" To him, the chicken was one of the best meals he had eaten recently.
"I don't feel like eating any chicken now," she replied, still reaching for more carrot slices. Again, her nose was batted.
"You gotta eat your chicken, Rumple. You're gonna look like Macavity or something if ya don't eat."
Undeterred, Rumpleteazer tried a third time before Mungojerrie slid the plate closer to his side. He furrowed his brows and started to glare at his sister.
"Really, why aren't ya eating your chicken?" A frightened look in his eyes appeared. "Are ya sick? 'Cause, you don't look sick." He worried that her plan made her health worsen. Mungojerrie remembered how their man started vomiting when their woman decided to invite Miss Montogomery over one time.
"Mungo, if I were sick, why would I keep eating?" For now, Rumpleteazer put her carrot quest on hold. She knew her brother meant well. The attack from Macavity had left him wiser.
"Hey! I dunno how this works!" He remembered how his sister had left in the middle of the night for unknown business. "Did, uh, somebody make you sick?"
"No... I just left to see Quaxo..." It was true; she wanted to see if he could conjure up anything romantic. The only thing he had was a novelty figure from February and day-old eggs with hearts drawn on them. "He gave me a weird pig statue and some eggs." She presented the statue to her brother.
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"Where are the eggs?"
Rumpleteazer looked to the side. "I, uh, kinda ate them all. They were cooked, don't worry." An odd look grew on her brother's face. One of shock?
"ARE YOU PREGNANT?", her brother yelled.
"Huh!?"
"Did you eat the eggs?" Rumpleteazer nodded. "You lay the eggs. Boom. You have babies." He spoke as if he were a scholar.
"That's not how pregnancy works!"
"What do you know?"
Only then was Mungojerrie given a reaction from his sister. It probably wasn't the best one to have, though: Rumpleteazer ran to a potted ficus and began to cough into it. Though she was just choking on air at the accusation, the accusation would not make this look any better.
"See, I can be smart sometimes." He quickly strode up the black cherry stairs that led to the man's office, hoping to retrieve Rumpleteazer's bear. Faintly, he could be heard shouting, "Please don't barf on the floor! You might bring back the babies too early!"
With her coughing fit done, it was Rumpleteazer's turn to speak. "Who told you this stuff about pregnancy?!" The sound of paws beating against the black cherry steps, accompanied by the squeaks of the bear, grew louder as her brother approached.
"Oh, Gus was teaching us how to read with a book for pregnant women." Mungojerrie had finally arrived with the bear toy.
"How? When? Why?"
"He read along with a few of us cats during the winter. He thought it'd make us better actors or something. Or maybe he was trying to give us the Talk."
"Did... did the book actually say that? About the eggs?"
Her brother paused for a moment, deep in thought. "Maybe. He was also trying to teach us how to write but I might've gotten my notes wrong."
"This-is-getting-too-weird-even-for-us—" Rumpleteazer wasn't sure whether to feel embarrassed for herself or for her brother. "Let me just clear this us up. No, I'm not pregnant."
"Aw, and I wanted to be an uncle."
"Annnd I was saving the chicken for a special someone..."
"Awww. Now I feel bad about not sharing my carrots with you." A dopey grin appeared on his face. His wisdom was disappearing quickly.
"No, I don't mean you," Rumpleteazer bluntly stated. Mungojerrie's ears lowered, whimpering.
She continued. "It's for Munkustrap, remember? The dinner, the "floorting", and the ring? I haven't given up on the plan yet." The pout on her brother was traded for a glare.
"Again, why Munkustrap? Quaxo doesn't have much romance, either!"
"Ah, but I'd feel bad about tricking Quaxo," Rumpleteazer responded with an unprecedented amount of sincerity. "I want a challenge and what's more challenging than Munkustrap?"
Mungojerrie sighed and walked to the bay window. "Whatever, just don't get hurt."
Rumpleteazer rushed to the office upstairs, grasping at the gray-and-black scarf that inspired her plan. Trying to remember how Nona would wrap up meals for the man and woman, she scampered to the kitchen and opened up all of the bottom cabinets before finding the roll of parchment paper. Chewing off the length she needed, she hurried to her plate of chicken. Carefully, the chicken was wrapped in the parchment and placed in the center of the scarf. It took many tries but Rumpleteazer was able to tie the chicken up and had the scarf formed into a makeshift bag.
"Am aff too tee jonkyord," she exclaimed. Rumpletezer was holding the scarf in her mouth since she was worried the chicken might fall behind her.
"I'll come by the junkyard in a bit," her brother replied. "Seriously, don't get hurt."
