Of the Cat Burglar and the Cat Protector

Playing Cupid

As the couple pulled out of the driveway in the taxi, the cats waved from the bay window on the first floor. When the taxi was no longer in view, the cats leaped off of the seats and headed to the second-level office. It's where they did most of their planning. They rummaged through their respective toy baskets, one labeled "Mio" and one labeled "Mao". Neither of the pair could understand why those were their everyday names.

"Do we bother Miss Montgomery?", asked Rumpleteazer. Montgomery was the next-door neighbor that would complain frequently about their mischief. She began squeezing a squeaky toy bear in her front paws. Before she could continue talking, Rumpleteazer giggled after the toy bear made a squeak.

"Can't do that, remember? She threatened to sic her bulldog on us," replied Mungojerrie. He bounced a red rubber ball against a metal filing cabinet that was in a corner of the room. There were multiple dents on one side of the cabinet from the previous times Mungojerrie used the ball. Their man always tells him to stop but the sound that's made upon impact... It's worth a few arguments.

Rumpleteazer sighed and dropped the bear to the floor. Since Macavity's attack at the Ball, it's been relatively peaceful in both their area and the junkyard. The tribe had agreed that Macavity was electrocuted and had likely died soon afterward.

Her brother didn't seem to be in the mood to steal anything either. The scratches on his forelegs were not fully gone yet, the fur just now starting to grow back. He was outraged that Macavity would act like such an animal. Rumpleteazer remembered how her brother winced as the saline solution was applied.

She strode to the black leather chair at the man's writing desk, finding his black and gray scarf. As she reached for the stringy ends, she could feel the slightly scratchy wool. Black, gray, scratchy... A thought almost formed in her head before she remembered that the scarf still had bits of ground-up anchovies (they had gotten those anchovies everywhere). Rumpleteazer began to gnaw on the scarf until it suddenly fell on top of her head. Whatever she did had gotten her wrapped up like a mummy. Mungojerrie yanked on the scarf and caused her to spin like a top on the black cherry floor.

"Don't do this again", her brother yelped as he was circling the calico hurricane in front of him. "Last time you did this, you nearly choked!"

"I think this is worse," she screamed as her vision blurred and her breakfast started to rise. Her thought finally popped up as she continued to spin across the floor. "I know what to do!" BANG! Maybe Mungojerrie had pulled on the scarf too hard. Rumpleteazer had hit the metal filing cabinet with the same speed as her brother's rubber ball. "I am okaaaay". Her voice was a bit loopy before she shook her head quickly.

"Rumple, what were ya saying?" Mungojerrie hurried to his sister's spot in fear that she got a head injury.

"Huh? Oh! I have a plan for myself!" She stumbled a bit to her basket of toys, scarf attached to her back leg. Her brother trotted beside her. "I could bother one of the cats."

"Ooh, which cat? Like Jellylorum or Jennyanydots or Gus or..." He continued playing with his red rubber ball, kneading it as if it were dough.

Rumpleteazer patted the floor with her right foreleg, trying to come up with a name. "Hmm... I don't know. How about one of the adult guy cats?" She then remembered the color of the scarf. "Like... Munkustrap?"

"Wha- why Munkustrap?" His tone, and his rubber ball, began to deflate slightly. Of all available male cats, she chose the responsible one? The same one who always got upset when they were caught stealing? Really?

He continued speaking. "Is there a reason why you chose Munkustrap? I'm sure you'd have more fun picking on Quaxo or Plato or ..." He couldn't come up with a third name.

"I can't choose Quaxo! He's a good friend", Rumpleteazer sincerely replied. "Besides, we already joke with him. I want someone who we don't really talk to."

Her brothers' eyebrows, or what looked like eyebrows, rose in suspicion. He tried to see if Rumpleteazer was acting oddly. No shifty eyes, no random movements, no nothing. "You don't have an... interest in Munkustrap, do you?" Mungojerrie sounded somewhat disgusted at the thought of his sister being paired with him.

"WHAT?!" She reached for her bear in the hopes of getting a good hit on her brother. "No! No, I don't like Munkustrap like that." Pausing for a moment, she slightly lowered her right foreleg. "Did he say anything about me—" A red rubber ball hit her square in the face.

She was thrown back, nearly hitting her head against the leather office chair. "I didn't mean it like that! I just want to know if he respects me or something. The plan won't work if he hates me, 'Jerrie!"

"Well, how are you going to bother him?" Mungojerrie was now convinced that his sister had an interest in the leader of the tribe. He shuddered at the thought and nearly retched.

"You know how his brother acts around the girl cats?" Noticing her brother's exasperated look, she groaned and continued. "Playing with their hearts?" Mungojerrie did not like where this was going.

"You're gonna act like the Rum Tum Tugger? But you suck at romance!"

"Hey! I just haven't found the right guy yet..."

"So, your plan to annoy Munkustrap is to be a female Tugger?"

"I guess a more specific female Tugger." She tried to wink but couldn't. "Look, Munkustrap only ever does his protecting of the tribe and planning those weird plays—"

"—Hey, I like his plays! I even tried to rehearse really hard", Mungojerrie interrupted. He nearly poked his eye out with knitting pins in the last show. Nobody knows how Mungojerrie got them in the first place but Munkustrap was glad that the latest show had slightly fewer injuries than the previous one.

"That's not the point!" She sighed and pulled the scarf toward her. "Look, what I'm trying to say is that he doesn't have much romance—"

"—I thought he was with Demeter!" Her brother's eyes grew slightly larger when he said the gold and black cat's name.

"Please... let... me... talk. No, Demeter's just... there, I guess. Look, I have no idea what's going on between them—" Her brother was starting to open up his mouth. "Shut your mouth, I don't care if you saw them hugging after the last attack. That doesn't mean that they're in love or anything!" With the way that she spoke, Mungojerrie was still convinced that his sister was interested in the leader.

"Does that mean Demeter is free then?" Rumpleteazer couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or serious. "I didn't mean it like that, 'Teazer!"

"...Oh. I thought that- whatever, let me continue on with the plan. I know that some of the ladies of the tribe have tried and failed at romancing Munkustrap. However, I think that I can succeed."

"Heartwarming", her brother replied, deadpan. "You sure you don't have an interest in him?"

"Only thing I have an interest in is stealing, mate." Her brother still wasn't convinced.

"Continue."

"I overheard our owners talking about their courting. They had dinner one night when our man started to ... floort? Fleurt? Anyway, our woman loved his words and they got close enough that he gave her a ring!"

"A dinner, nice words, and a ring." Mungojerrie calmed down slightly. "I don't think Munkustrap would marry you."

"Aww, why not?", she fake-cried.

"He loves his job the most, 'Teazer."

"Whatever, I think I can pull off that plan. I'll give him a nice dinner, a few compliments, and then I'll steal a ring."

"Why a ring? We don't have fingers for that." Mungojerrie lifted his two front paws up, shaking them.

Rumpleteazer ignored her brother and leaped onto the leather chair at the desk. From their home, she could vaguely make out the chain-linked fence that surrounded the junkyard. This was going to be a fun plan.

Somebody's going to fall in love and fast.