'𝑅❀𝓈𝑒 𝒫𝑒𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓈'

'An Unpleasant Memory'

Tw:
Mentions of abus3
Child trauma
Mentions of breakdowns
Flashbacks
Angst
P@n1c att@ck
B0dy sh@m1ng
Bully1ng
S3lf h@t3

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The rain began to pour as I lay in my bed crying, hugging my legs tightly as small whimpers came from my sore throat, I inhaled and exhaled a few time but it was hard to breathe, I keep Inhaling and exhaling until I passed out.

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He awoke in his bed in the same clothes from last night, a cold feeling rushing over him as he sat up, light poking out from the bottom of the white curtains,the sound of rain filled his cold ears as he lifted himself off his bed, his eyes and throat feeling sore from crying so much.
He sluggishly got dressed in a black shirt with a normal pair of jeans with some trainers, and of course the cat socks.
He grabbed his bag and walked out the door after brushing his fluffy hair,which was messily strewn over the left side of his face
He quickly walked to his college , having long legs and all, he stopped Infront of a large building and sighed, this was not going to be a fun day.

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As I walked inside the building immediately I started to panic as people stared at me, it was terrifying, I wish I didn't have to come here, I began to shake but stayed as calm as I could as I walked through the hallway people looking at me from all angles, it made me feel weird I didn't like it.
I had my hair in my face and was looking down, suddenly I accidentily bumped into someone
''I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.. - ''Im pretty sure I looked like I'd seen a ghost cause the guys started.... Laughing.. At me?
I felt anxiety rise up in my chest but kept my cool, I tried to walk away, but one of them grabbed me, I internally screamed wanting to go home so badly.
''You are such a fucking wuss, grow some balls man. ''that made them laugh even more, I felt myself tremble.
I apologised again, and they laughed even harder, I wanted to cry at this point, I felt so nervous.
''Listen maybe we can teach you how to man up ey? ''I was confused until I felt a punch to my gut, I scowled to myself pain seething through my stomache.
''I'm sorry what did I do wrong..? ''memories came flooding back and I trembled even more, I don't know what I did, why can't people leave me alone?
I backed away a little and one of them glared at me and said
''You look like shit, what are you, a rat? ''This made the other boys hysterical because they burst into laughter.
I want to go home, I want to go home.
''You are so fucking skinny bro, maybe get some muscle.''They sneered at me, it made me want to just hide away.
I suddenly got a punch to the nose and fell on my bottom.
''WOAH, are you really that weak? ''Blood dripped from my nose onto my black shirt, pain rushing through me like a waterfall.
I hate myself, why do people always treat me like this, what did I do wrong?
I wanted to go home, memories flashed through my head, memories of my mother, how she used to beat me with a pan every time I did something remotely wrong, I want to go home, but my gut hurts and my head feels like it's about to explode.
I need to get out, my lungs feel stuffy and everything hurts.
I get up and run the opposite way, laughs echoing in my head as I ran.

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I sat in a bathroom stall, crying softly, not making a sound in fear someone would hear me and hurt me, I don't want to get hurt anymore I jsut want to go home, is that too much to ask?
Soon I calm down just sitting there thinking about everything that could go wrong.
I missed first period by now but I don't care, who's going to punish me, my parents?
Don't think so.
I went out of the bathroom, walking to my second period which was art, I like art it's cool, I guess.
I walk in and see someone, I look at them oy to see they are staring at me with awe, I guess I am pretty tall, I end up having to sit next to the very same boy, but.. I feel something weird... I don't like it.. The memories.. I breathed in quietly as again memories replayed over and over in my head, the last time I'd felt like this.. I... I don't want to feel this feeling again, no, no.
Why can't the memories leave me alone?
I wish this day would be over already, I hate the way people treat me, is it because I look different from them?
I wish people would treat me like a person for once, why do people always take more than I give them, why can't.. Why can't I be normal?
The boy next to me was a short fluffy haired brunette with blue eyes, he was pretty, but I should keep my distance or I might get hurt, I don't want that again.
The class ends and the boy taps my shoulder, I realised I spaced out.
''Hey are you.. Alright? ''I was taken aback by the question, nobody ever asked me how I was doing before, it shocked me.
''Uh yeah.. Sorry.. ''He looked at me with a familiar look of recognition in his eyes, it scared me slightly.
''You sound really familiar and look it too.. Humm.. ''
I quickly dashed out of there before he could say another word, panic making my lungs feel stuffy, not again.

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I really do hate my life, I'm so pathetic.
I can't do much, I have no talents, I'm not funny, I'm ugly, what more does the world have to throw at me, I don't know why it keeps throwing boulders at me but there's probably a reason, maybe I deserve it? Probably.
Why can't I stop thinking about that boy?
I don't want to think about him but atleast it's keeping away the memories for now.

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It's the end of the school day and I rush back home, finally letting. Out the tears I've been holding in all day, them flowing out my eyes uncontrollably while I try and wipe them away to no avail.
I mean people have it alot worse then me so I shouldn't be ungrateful, right?
I go in and lock my door flopping onto my bed, hitting my knee on the way down making me writhe in pain, I was soaked now, from the rain, it was raining all day, fitting huh?

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So yeah that was pretty angsty, sorry, please pay attention to the tw, they are there to keep you safe, anyways please go follow Dailythingsidoforali,they are making this book with me so go show em some love, thank you for reading,❤️

Word count:
1145