Remember, Everything Will Be Alright

III

28 July 2019

"Phil!" Dan called from the other side of the aisle.

"Wha-" Phil muttered, too preoccupied with the blue, yellow, and red boxes of cereal resting on the shelves before him to form whole words.

"Do you want wheat or white bread?" Dan asked, holding up the two loaves for Phil to see.

"Sure." Phil nodded as he reached for a box of Crunchy Nut to inspect.

Dan came closer to Phil. "Wheat or white bread?"

"Oh. Uh... Wheat?"

Dan nodded as he tossed the bag of wheat bread into their trolley and headed in the opposite direction to return the unwanted loaf to its display. In the few moments Dan had apart from Phil, he didn't have to maintain the lively guise that would be the cause of his first wrinkle; with his eyebrows raised to give the illusion of energy and the corners of his lips pulled to the brink of a smile. Now that he was away for a minute, he could relax. His face could relax, at least.

Between Dan's ears brewed one of the greatest panics of his life. He was grateful that he and Phil had started their grocery shopping in the safety of the produce section. What scared him was the thought that as they went further west, produce became grains. Grains became frozen foods. Frozen foods became cleaning supplies. Cleaning supplies became hygiene. And hygiene became family-planning.

The family-planning shelves had been home to an array of Dan and Phil's favourite condoms, jellies, and even miniature vibrators—when they were desperate. Among those staples hid the pregnancy tests that Dan never thought he would need to buy; let alone plan to buy as he and Phil had done that day.

He wished he and Phil got into the habit of dividing and conquering the shopping responsibilities. If that was the case, Dan wouldn't hesitate to volunteer himself to find everything on their list in aisles fifteen through thirty by himself. If they had agreed to that, the store would have been "sold out" of the tests.

It wasn't urgent that Dan buy and take a test that day. In fact, according to WebMD, taking a test that early on might result in a false negative. Maybe he could distract Phil and get him to forget about the three-week anniversary of their unprotected sex approaching that Thursday. After Thursday, Dan knew his life would never be the same. Thursday would mark the beginning of a bi-weekly testing cycle that the couple only planned to stop when Dan fell pregnant. That thought alone was enough to reform the pit in Dan's stomach; the visible, nauseating, growing pit in his stomach that made his skin itch.

Could I be? No! It's just a placebo. I want it so bad that I've convinced myself it's happening against all reason.

Dan left those irrational thoughts behind as he returned to Phil in the cereal section, still mesmerized by the carboard boxes.

"These cereal companies are really stepping it up with their designs," Phil said as he heard Dan's footsteps approaching. "I mean, from a graphic design standpoint, they're immaculate! Great use of color, dynamic lettering on the logos, and likable mascots. It's like they're designing the covers of a superhero comic or something."

Dan huffed out a laugh as he commandeered the trolley and pushed it up the row. Phil followed behind him, almost chasing after Dan's quick strides.

"Is everything okay?" Phil asked once he caught up.

"He knows," Dan told himself.

"Yeah," Dan said, conjuring up the guise he had left in the bread aisle. "I'm good."

"Great." Phil took the trolley back from Dan. "What are we cooking for your mum tomorrow?"

Dan shrugged. "We could just... order us all pizza."