scattered

i loved him

I love it when he pat my head,
I love it when he try to find tomato sauce for me so I would eat the french fries with him,
I love it when he hold my hand,
I love it when he turn the car AC and adjust it to me because he noticed that I was feeling rather hot,
I love it when he hug me,
I love it when he look at me with his black eyes,
I love it when he tried to cheer me up,
I love it when he is willingly to listen to my story in the end of the day,
I love it when he spared his time for me,
I love it when he complimented me,
I love it when he pick me up and drop me off even though his home is far away to mine,
I love it when he share his stories with me,
I love it when he remind me to drink water,
I love it when he concerned about my health,
I love it when he looks a little bit jealous when I mention another man to him,
I love it when he say 'have a nice day' every morning,
I love it when he doesn't smoke when he is with me,
I love it when he plays with his pets and looked so caring and loving,
I love it when he looks happy and relaxed when I pat his head,
I love it when we can talk about almost everything even the most ridiculous topic in the world,
I love it when he always put his phone down when he is having conversations with me.

I hate it when he said that I will be better off with another man,
I hate it when he is not willing, at least to try, become that 'better' man for me.

I loved him.
I loved him, and it hurts so bad.

Saturday,
November 27th, 2021
23:45