Regret

Chapter 4

"Where are you going?", Win asked his long time friend after seeing him lend the clipboard to Pruk and head to the locker room. 

"I'm leaving earlier today, Pharm and I are going shopping for gifts…", Dean explained, looking a bit embarrassed.

"What? For who?!", Win asked in surprise.

"My parents. And brother. I've asked him if he wants to be formally introduced to my family and he accepted… so… this is it, I guess!", Dean was definitely blushing now and the blonde wished he could tease the other because of that, but a sudden thought crossed his mind.

"I'm happy to see you have changed your mind, buddy. But have you told him the truth about your parents? It's better to do this before your meeting and…", Win was interrupted.

"Don't worry, Win! I love Pharm and he loves me too, we have everything under control!", Dean winked and left his worried friend behind. The golden head sighed in distress sensing the war coming.

********

Before meeting Pharm, Dean went home to change clothes and was now dressing a white dress shirt with black pants and shoes matching them. To his surprise, Pharm was wearing the same color code, but looking absolutely stunning on it. The boy was wearing a white shirt with black stripes and black pants. It was almost like they had previously agreed on what to wear for their date.

"You look beautiful, my good boy!", Dean said after approaching the smaller male.

"Thank you, Phi! You too.. are so handsome!", Pharm said blushing hard.

"Let's go, love!", Dean said giggling and holding the smaller hand in his.

They walked around the mall trying to find something, but with no luck.

"Please, P'Dean! You have to help me out here!!", the boy pleaded.

"I wasn't really close to my family until a few months ago, my good boy. I'm afraid not to be able to help you trying to find something for you to give my brother or parents, sorry!", Dean explained.

"Ok, if we don't find anything, I'm gonna quit this and make a dessert for them! But this still worries me…"

"You don't have to think so hard, love! I'm sure they're going to love you as much as I do!", Dean said without doubt.

"But…", the other let out hesitantly and the senior could read his face like an open book.

"Don't worry, they know I'm not straight. We have never had this discussion before using labels, but I've made it pretty clear that I'm not interested only in girls, it won't be a surprise."

"I trust you!", Pharm replied just like it has become a habit for him to say lately and also looking much more relieved.

Those three words sat badly inside Dean's stomach, but the man blamed his nerves. It was his first time introducing a boyfriend to his family and Korn's memories were still too vivid for him to ignore their message. On top of all that, he also knew another detail that could put that whole meeting at risk. 

"Let's go over there, P'Dean!", Pharm called him and Dean swore he could melt looking at that bright smile and flushed cheeks. He also regretted that he had once thought about hurting that man's heart. Pharm was the most precious creature he could ever find. He was his soulmate. He was his everything.

********

After shopping for things to make a dessert, Dean convinced Pharm to go to his house and watch a movie. The boy didn't want to at first, but the senior said the house was his for the whole evening. His parents would come only on Friday and his brother was out, visiting a friend in another province.

"Which movie would you like to watch, Nong?", Dean asked while opening the door just to be surprised by the fact that it was already open.

Before he could react, he saw the familiar face staring at him by the entrance. "Mom?"

The single word connected to that woman's body, made Pharm's anxiety give its best over him. The boy fainted without a single warning and thanks to Dean's reflexes, he didn't hit his head on the floor.

A few minutes later, Pharm woke up in a bed that wasn't his. "What is this? Where am I?", he whispered to the dark room, but was presented with Dean's hug.

"Shh… It's okay, my good boy! I have brought you to my room so you can relax freely. Are you okay now?", Dean asked worriedly.

"I'm fine… I just can't understand…", Pharm said, parting from their hug.

"I'm gonna explain everything to you, Pharm… let me just...", Dean said, turning the lights on.

The sudden light made Pharm react to protect his eyes and he averted his gaze to a much lower spot. There, he could clearly see his P'Dean side by side with his best friend Del and the woman they had just met by the door. The woman he knew the first time because she had accused him of killing Del on purpose.

"What is this, P'Dean?", Pharm asked, pointing at the family photo.

"The woman downstairs… She's my mom, Pharm…", he let out trembling. "I'm Del's brother."

A thousand questions started to roam inside Pharm's head, but he picked the easier from them all:

"Why didn't you ever tell me this, P'Dean? Why did you hide this information from me?"

The taller male lowered his head in defeat. Nothing was going according to his plan but he had to do what was needed now: tell the truth. He then proceeded to explain to Pharm how he approached him on purpose to seduce him.

"But everything changed when I started to feel real feelings for you. And now I know it wasn't your fault Del was hurt and…"

"Shut up!", Pharm ordered in a high pitch tone.

"Pharm, I--"

"I don't wanna hear anything else coming from you, P'Dean! You had made me trust you and now you just proved that all this time I was being a puppet for you to play the way you wanted…"

Pharm's speech came along with painful tears. He could barely see through them, but he managed to get up and walk out from the door of Dean's bedroom, watching the senior coming his way. "Don't you dare to come closer to me ever again! I don't wanna hear from you ever again!", he said before leaving Dean's house.