The Looked After Child

August 2016

I thought brides were meant to look happy? This one looked red faced sobbing unceremoniously up the Isle. At least the view was nice and the tree shaded our seating area, turkush heat was a nightmare. I did not want my face to swell up again.
Phil, my foster carer spent most of the evening murmig with his daughter and his wife, my foster mother about the wedding guests.
'They're from up north , Liverpool I think. That's why they're so different' . Sighing I snapped a picture of the table place cards and the confetti gems, uploading it to Facebook.
' a lot of poverty up there' pausing to nod at two lads dancing and laughing with pints in their hand.
'Not a lot up there' he continued. I rolled my eyes even at a wedding he had been invited to he still had to talk shit about the family of the happy couple.
' my uncle is from Liverpool ' I stated looking Phil Square in the eyes.
' oh Is he never heard if him who's that then? ' face pointed.
'Uncle neil' my sister and I answered both of us looking expectantly at him for any of the trash out if his mouth to he thrown at our family. The simpsons had been our foster family for nearly four years now and any opportunity to snip in remarks of my mums alcoholic tendencies or my dad's 'poor medical condition' was taken.
'Oh right..that's nice then' before turning away and conversing with his family again. Asshole. Never got anything nice to say that old man.
The guests were rowdy. Throwing jokes and conversations from one end of the room or the other. The lads making jibes at the happy couple 'make sure you don't have too many of those boy they affect your performance' he grinned at the groom. Roaring laughter followed by the men lifting their pints into the air smacking the groom on the back.
'They're so loud' fran exclaimed exasperated shaking her head in disapproval.
'Yeah because she has a stick up her arse and doesn't know what fun is' annie muttered leaning over to me. I chuckled whilst I texted Matthew back
Miss you. View is lovely. Phil is moaning again.
...
Not good. Try have fun love you.
...
Love you too

Truth be told sitting with a bunch of strangers I've never met was the most relaxed I had been in weeks. I allowed myself to laugh at their lewed jokes while Fran's face pinched her lips pouting as if the wedding party were heathens. The tables were placed in a rectangle so everyone faced each other, even us total strangers were welcomed with a smile. I could pretend at least for tonight I belonged here, that these rambunctious people were my family, cousins perhaps far more relatable and safer than the simpsons at least.
Phil rose from his seat scanning the room before striding to some men and making small talk. Drunken, goofy smiles lit their faces as they nodded at his words and pointed at the bride across the room. I briefly wondered if they would be so welcoming if they knew what he was saying five seconds ago. I glanced at fran curiously, she sat upright in her chair , napkin on her lap a tight smile gracing her lips as she prattled politely with a family member of the bride. Annie and i shared a look both smirking. easing back into my seat I looked on, a satisfied relaxation easing my tight frame. I bathed in her uncomfortable feelings with no remorse.
Nothing lasts forever though and soon I was once again confined to a mini bus with them as the taxi driver waited in line to drive us back to our hotel. The red roof tiles of building could be seen for miles below the cliff edge.
' She wasn't very pretty' fran told Phil. He made a noise of agreement as the driver moved forward in line.
' quite an ugly bride, ugly crier that's for sure' he chuckled. I clenched my teeth as looked out the window, we were precariously near the edge of the cliff. I nudged my sister and nodded at the window. Our eyes widened as the wheel the tired skirted feet from the drop as the driver turned. I swallowed as I squeezed my sisters hand.
'I think we might drive off the edge' I announced to anyone. Phil scoffed rolled his eyes his belly bouncing 'dont be stupid we're fine'
'Oh gosh look how close to the edge we are' fran exclaimed clutching her chest as stuck her face up against te glass. The whole bus was now glancing out their windows watching. The driver banged the horn shouting in turkish at the row of taxis and parked cars in front. fran jumped in her seat
'phil' She gasped. He patted her hand sympathetically
'Were fine they don't drive the same as we do'
'You mean safely' She barked whilst sneezing his hand. I rocked into seat as I braced myself against the headrest in front of me as the driver turned us around the beeping of the vehicle blaring at us. As we drove backwards, the driver ignoring the blaring we looked at the cliff edge coming at us.
' Phil he isn't stopping' fran croaked.
Annie nodded ' I think we're going to hit the edge'
'We're not going to hit the edge' he proclaimed as he leaned over Annie to look out the window his eyebrows furrowed as we all anxiously waited.
' are we going to die?' My heart thumped in my chest as my arms felt like jelly as I held on. The driver slammed on his brakes and we all lurched in our seats.
' oh god' fran cried. My hands were sweaty. I told myself that taxi drivers probably drove tourists like us up cliff resteraunts like this all the time. I simply wasn't used to turkish drivers was all I nodded to myself.
'Has he been here before? He doesn't seem to know how to get out here' someone said from the back of the bus. Phil looked grim now checking the edges and watching the driver.
'No when I called to book they were surprised, they didn't even realise there was a venue on this cliff because it was so narrow'
I laughed, Phil glaring at me as I shook my head. Trust him to get us killed.
' were going to die' I stated looking back out the window as the taxi started moving again.
' no we're not' phil snapped. The van crunched along the gravel as it reversed, the driver watching the parked cars. I closed my eyes and leant my head against the headrest my hands sweating and I held them in my lap. I just needed to breathe. Mindfulness.
'Omg he isn't watching the road' annie shouted.
'Yes he is ' phil snapped
' the edge of cliff phil' fran wailed pointing.
'Stop. Stop'
In. Hold. Out. Two three four. Both women shouted, fran screaming as Phil looked out the window before tapping the driver.
'Stop. Stop. Stop.'
Fran strangled cry grating my ears as annie voice reached my ears
' I thought we were gonna die then' She heaved at me the adrenaline winding her. I grimaced nodding unwilling to look until we got off the edge of the cliff.
' you can look now I think we're going down the road' annie nudged me as we lurched side to side. Peeking , the red tiles became buildings as we descended bouncing noisily in our seats Phil grunting as the seat belt locked against him.
The hotel was a blessed site with all of us jogging up the steps. I sighed in relief. Bidding Phil and fran goodnight I checked annie had the door key before we trudged down the hallway to our room.
'Jesus that was awful' She laughed.
' the wedding or the journey home' I sighed.
'Both laughing as we changed our clothes.
' I honestly thought for a second we were going to die' I chucked.
' death by taxi driver' annie smirked
'Shut up' I laughed as I got into the bed and placed my phone on charge.
' I can't wait to go home now' annie said as we settled in the dark.
' I know, holiday is fun and all but I want my own bed' I sighed turning over to face her.
' I miss mum' she admitted
' I know, me too. Night night' I murmed
'Night' annie sighed.