Call it what you want - jaylor story

i'm done with boys

August 2016

-Taylors Pov –

Yeah, I'm done with boys. I can't deal with it anymore, they're just trouble and takes the focus away from my music. It's been about a week since I broke up with Tom, that was never going to work out, I knew that from the start. For years I've tried to find the one but there is never a guy who sticks around long enough to develop into something more. Maybe the idea of love just isn't in the cards for me? I see people around me talking about how amazing real love is, that it's something that changes you for the better, but I've never really had that.

*** flashback to one week ago ***

Looking over at my phone that has kept ringing for an hour I see it's constantly tom trying to get ahold of me. honestly, I've been putting him off for about a day because I just don't know what to do about this relationship we have going on. Well, it's not even really a relationship because it doesn't go both ways. Sure, he is a good guy and make me feel good feelings but at the same time it's not what I need in a relationship. The passion and love just isn't there on my side and it's never been there. He has fallen for me, and I know that, that's what makes the situation hard because I know that I'm breaking something when I inevitably end it.

Also, it doesn't make it easier that my life is falling apart at the moment in the terms of my public persona and career. #taylorswiftisoverparty have been trending and the video for famous has the whole industry talking. I've tried to defend myself, but people just don't seem to believe me. it's not just the people that doesn't know me, but we are talking people I thought was friends of mine have either came out in support of kimye or have just ghosted me. fans have been turning on me too and that's hard, I really thought that they knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't lie about something like this.

The video that Kim posted as proof isn't even what really happened! It's so edited that it's taken out of context. I can't approve a song I haven't even heard other than him speaking one line that's not even the full line that ended up on the actual song. I've tried to speak up and defend myself but that's when they posted the video, and everything went to shit. At this point I don't know what I can do to get people to believe me, I don't know if there is a place for me in this industry anymore and that makes me sad.

I know that I can't put off tom forever, so I've decided that today I will rip the band aid off and break things off with me. the hard thing with it in the terms of how the public will see it is that it will add to the narrative that I'm this serial dater. The timing of this breakup is bad, and I just wish that my personal was just that, personal, and not played out in the headlines. The headlines don't even get the full story right and that's frustrating.

Tom calls again and this time I pick up "hi tom" I try to say in a semi cheerful voice but if he really knew me, he would sense that I was faking it.

"Hey babe, what's going on. I haven't heard from you, and you don't pick up my calls. I was really close to jump on a plane to New York just to make sure you are alright" he says, and I sigh.

"I just haven't known how to say this tom" I say and stop for a second to try and gather the words to let him down gently. "what's going on Tay. You can tell me anything"

"I need to break this up, I just can't do this anymore. The feelings aren't mutual and it's not good for either one of us to continue when I'm just not where you are in terms of feelings" I say gently and give him time to respond.

"Taylor, you know I love you. and I think that if you give me time I can be the one for you, I can be the one you end up spending your life with. I know things are crazy for you right now, and if you need to take a break, I understand that and I will give you the time you need. But don't break us up" he pleads, and I just need to stand my ground this time.