Call it what you want - jaylor story

the trial

Trigger warning: sexual assault trial

-Taylors Pov-

We are on the plane from Nashville to Denver where the trail is going to be held and I feel sick. My mom and joe are here with me, but I don't feel like myself. These last couple of weeks with holding the secret sessions has been so much fun but the second the last guest left I knew what was next and I'm dreading it.

The tension in the air is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Joe and my mom are making Smalltalk and letting me have my space to think. I'm sitting with headphones on trying to listen to some music to calm myself down. My worst fear is that people won't believe me, I don't know what will happen if they don't believe me.

You never think something like this will happen to you before it does. We all hear the stories on the news but having it happen to you or someone close to you in real life is a different story. It's not really something people talk about if it ever happened to them, especially women, because we are terrified of people not believing us. For me I'm scared that people won't think it's serious enough because someone didn't force me to have sex with them, but it is still sexual assault in the terms of the law so I hope they will see that this was wrong of him.

Originally, I wasn't going to sue him, I was going to leave it with us going to his boss and him getting fired. But he had other plans, he went and sued me for deformation because he felt that I did something to him. The entitlement and high horse of this man is disgusting. I was a 22-year-old girl being taken advantage of by a man because he could. He probably didn't think a young timid country girl could speak up, but little did he know that he didn't know me at all.

A hand land on my thigh and I tense up so it's immediately removed but I feel bad so I take of my headphones and look at joe "sorry, didn't want to startle you" he says, and I smile gently at him. "it's fine, just a little jumpy today" I say before taking his hand and intertwining our fingers.

"how are you doing honey" my mom says, and I look up at her and shrug my shoulders "Not good but as good as one can expect in this situation. Honestly quite pissed". Tears are starting to roll down my face, but I quickly wipe them away, I refuse to cry, I'm not going to cry over this right now. Maybe tonight under the cover of the dark sky, but not here.

"love, it's okay to cry you know. This isn't easy. But can I wrap my arm around you, should that be okay" he says, and I look up at him and nod gently and he doesn't waste any time to wrap his arm around me. in return I throw my legs over his lap and wrap my arms around his torso as well and take deep breaths. Being in his arms is probably the only thing keeping me together right now. The fact that he will be there at the end of every trail day waiting in my hotel room for me. my mom is going to court with me while joe stays out of sight. We figured that there already is so much media attention over this that we don't want to heighten it with having my boyfriend in the room as well.

It's really upsetting that the whole thing has turned into a media circus. I really wanted it to be behind closed door to protect my vulnerability, but he got his way with having the trial publicly. His lawyer was also the one that leaked the whole situation to the press it begin with and people have been taking sides. There are a lot of the public that thinks I'm lying, especially with how bad my reputation is, but why would I lie about something like this. It's humiliating to sit up there and explain what happened, I wouldn't do that without absolutely having to do so.

**

It's the next morning and I'm dressed in a simple sophisticated dress that goes down to my knees, blazer and black tights. My hair is down in its natural waves and my makeup is minimal. This summer while I was working on the album I had court training with my lawyers to know how to behave. There is a certain etiquette that you're supposed to follow in court, especially as a woman if you want to be believed. I've also been warned that the odds sadly are against me, just like it is to so many other victims. It's ridiculous how hard it is for victims to be believed in these situations, but I can't even think about that right now.