Percy Jackson, honored and betrayed savior of Olympus

chapter 18, Ourea... part 3

Third person POV

Suddenly, mountains rose all over the battlefield. From them, soldiers made purely of stone rose, grasping spears and shields. They locked shields and began to advance on the armies of Olympus.  Arrows bounced off their shields, sometimes making contact. However, the arrows bounced off, leaving the rock soldiers completely unharmed. Over time, the rock soldiers, now called the "Rockmen" advanced across the battlefield, destroying anything in their path. The fleeing monsters rallied by them, covering their flanks. The tide of the battle was turning, the demigods and soldiers alike began to back up, giving more and more ground to the advancing Rockmen. Percy stepped to the front, and three Rockmen stepped up to meet him. Percy struck first, lashing out with his sword, stabbing the head of one of the Rockmen. Instead, the blade bounced off, leaving the Rockman unharmed. The three Rockmen and Percy wove around in a deadly dance, swords flying. Swords swung only to be beaten back by shields. Percy finally saw a weakness in the Rockmen, they were always protecting their stomach. He continued to look for a spot where he could pierce with his sword. At last, he found it. He stabbed at an unarmored piece of the first Rockman's chest, effectively disintigrating it. The other two Rockmen were a lot more weary now, weighing the pros and cons of their every move, trying to gain the advantage. However, Percy was too strong, especially when he knew what to hit. In a matter of seconds, the remaining two Rockmen were on the ground, disintigrating. The retreating demigod army saw this and rallied around Percy, sending wave after wave of javelins, arrows and spears at the shield wall, many hitting their target and disintigrating Rockmen. Eventually, the Rockmen broke rank and ran. With only Ourea on the battlefield, the demigod armies were unsure about what to do. Would they attack Ourea, while he was standing on a mountain? In his element? Percy, however was not afraid. Knowing that Unknown had some control over the earth, he told Unknown his plan. Percy charged Ourea from the front, like he always did, while Unknown tried to get rid of the mountains by sending them back into the ground. Children of Hecate helped too, trying to drain Ourea's power. Percy countinued to fight Ourea, neither of them giving ground, until Percy slipped. He recovered quickly but was whacked on the back of the head, rendering him unconscious. Unknown readied his sword and shield, and approached with a shield covering his chest. Water and wind swirled around him, creating a misty shield. Pieces of Rock from Ourea were sucked into the vortex, leaving him unshielded, just a regular man with the power to control the earth. Unknown stabbed him in the chest, effectively killing him.

Ourea was dead

#Thisisnottheend

#writertips

1. Always put commas, otherwise people will think your rambling

2. Remember, show don't tell. For example:

Percy had saved the world, he was very happy (tell)

Percy's eyes glimmered in the light, shining green with content (show)

Understand now?

3. BE POLITE. If people think you are rude no one will read your stories. I have seen a lot of authors out there who insult their readers with each chapters. I never read on.

4. Be subtle, people tend to rush things/ For example:

Percy had been appointed the esteemed general of the Olypmian army. Hestia walked up. "I would like you to be my campion." Artemis walked up.

"I have a list of chores for you to do boy

Instead of: Percy had been appointed esteemed general of the Olympian army. Hestia smiled, "congragulations Percy, you have achieved the level of power that no demigod has ever reached before. I am sorry about your mother's death. Would it be alright if I blessed you? So that you might have a sense of home again?"

See how that opens stuff up to more possobilities? Our jobs as writers here are to inspire more writers, so we can become a great literature generation, and with this technolodgy, we can do it! I mean, I AM 11. IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU. UNDERSTOOD SOLDIER?! Also, be sure to favorite this chapter and show me some appreciation in the comments. Thanks :D