Reaper

35

I heard the house door open, and I immediately felt my nerves rushing through me. I hadn't had sex in a minute, and I was very nervous to go there with Azias. What if I'm bad in bed? What if he's not into the same things I'm into? Will us going there make us friends with benefits?

I listened for his footsteps ascending the stairs as I fiddled with the covers. I felt as if I was losing my virginity all over again!

Okay, I dragged it a bit... a lot, really. It's not that serious, Saph. Suck it up! Suck him up...okay, I need to stop. I'm literally having a monologue in my head...

The door opened, and Azias entered with a black plastic bag in his hand. There was a box inside, and I figured that the box contained condoms. I immediately felt my stomach sink as more nerves overcame me.

Am I ready for this? What if we fuck and then he leaves like...like J—

No, he's not him. Azias wouldn't do that.

But we're not even together. He owes me no loyalty.

"Hey," he smiled. He looked so innocent and welcoming. Why was I painting him out to be the bad guy? I gave him a shy smile and wave as he walked over to me.

He's not him, I reminded myself.

He gave my lips a smooch before putting the bag down and going to the bathroom. I peeped inside the bag and saw some birth control along with the box of condoms, and I started getting even more nervous. It wasn't even that deep. Frankly, I didn't know why I was making this more than what it was. It would just be sex...but would he have sex with me today and then sex with another girl tomorrow? We weren't actually dating. Did he even want me to be his girlfriend? Is he the cheater type? "You heard?"

"Huh?" I asked, my ears finally registering his voice.

He repeated, "I asked if you're okay? You spaced out for a minute."

"I'm fine," I stated with a quick nod. Just having inner conflict is all!

"You sure?" he asked with worry in his eyes, and I nodded once again. "You ate yet?"

"Not since breakfast," I shook my head.

"Good. Giorgio's downstairs making dinner," he informed, and I nodded once again before staring off into the distance. "You sure you aight?" I nodded once again, and he did that thing where he'd go silent and study me for a second. I hated when he'd do that because I would never know what assumptions he'd be drawing. He'd usually analyze me and then keep those assumptions to himself. The last thing I wanted was us taking steps backwards, but did I even want to hear his assumptions? "Are you having second thoughts?"

...

How the fuck did he know? Is this what he does when he watches me in silence— read me? See right through my poker face?

I froze before shaking my head. "Just not in the mood anymore, sorry."

Why did I lie?! Maybe if I told him, he'd think I didn't wanna have sex and then ghost me.

"No need to apologize," he shook his head, "and there's no rush either."

The fact that he was patient made me feel a bit better.

"Okay," I breathed, and he frowned at me with confusion clear on his face and in his eyes. "I have a question." He gave a nod, encouraging me to ask. I was planning to change the topic, so I asked, "Why are Rose and Emily restricted from coming onto this floor?"

Azias answered, "I like having my private space. Also, if something is tampered with, I know to blame you because no one else comes up here."

"What's there for me to tamper with?" I asked.

"Drugs that I sell," he answered, his face blank. He then cracked a faint smile before saying, "That was a joke." I cracked a faint smile as well as I waited for him to give me more information, but he didn't seem as if he was willing to explain anything.

I needed to know more about Azias. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't have sex with him tonight and then hate his guts by morning.

I shrugged, "My mom asked what you do for a living and I didn't even know the answer."

"You know about my clubs," he stated.

I pointed out, "Yet you live in a mansion; own bodyguards, personal chefs, and doctors; drive fancy cars; and spend money like there's no tomorrow! No one sane gives three girls 20 bands each to shop just for clothes and bags unless they're beyond well off. I know you own clubs, but you gotta have other lines of work for some of the antics you keep up."

"And if I do?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just feel like I don't know certain things about you."

If he's seriously into me, he'll open up more, right?

"You don't."

"Well, I want to."

He let out an annoyed sigh as he brought the plastic bag to his dresser. He then unpacked the contents before saying, "I don't want you with that info yet."

"So it's something illegal, I presume."

"You the feds or something?" Azias asked teasingly, but I decided to drop the questioning since I didn't want to get back on his suspicious list. "Trust me, you don't wanna have to carry my burdens. The less you know, the better." I gave a simple nod and decided to drop the convo.