Shrek x Sonic 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤑🤑🤑🤑❤️❤️

chapter 3 help

After visciously making out with sonic, Shrek felt thirsty since his breath stank of condensed liver and internalised organs uwu

When he got to the drinks table, he felt his spider senses tingling

"Holup. Something ain't right!"

He slammed his drink back down onto the table, it smashes into pieces and one flew into George the Pig's eye, he began to CRY LOUDLY SO JAKE COULD HEAR HIM

He sashayed up the stairs and went into a random room

And to his shock, the world stopped

His bestie, Boris Johnson, was making out with the class president, Donald Trump!

"OH MY GOD BORIS YOU FAT FUCK"

Boris was a bottom.

He pushed Donald off him, and stared at Shrek with innocent eyes

"You told me you were really straight!!!!" Shrek screamed very loudly

"Sorry owo I couldnt resist!" Boris said, making weird puppy eyes

Shrek grabbed his Glock 19 and shot Boris on the head twelve times and stormed back to sonic

But then, the second shocker of the night!!!

Sonic the Hedgecock was making out with Barry Bee Benson!

"S-S-S-S S-S-S-S S-S-S-S S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S S-S-S-S S-S-S-S S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S S-S-S-S S-S-S-S-S-S-S-SONIC WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!?" Shrek cried, the music at the party stopped and everyone looked at them

"B-Babe it's not what it looks like!"

"Boris was right about you. You're nothing but a dirty player! AND YOU HAVE NO NIPPLES EITHER!!!"

"OooooOoOOoOoooOOo!" The people at the party cheered

Shrek anime girl ran away with his 3'2 body while wailing like a pick me girl who screams "RODRIGOOOOOOOO!!!"

"bruh and yo pp small too like idk man I wouldn't wanna have it with u tbfh" Peppa the baddie said, flicking her non existent hair

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The next day, Shrek went into school with puffy red eyes, but his beautiful orbs still looked orbfull

"Hi Boris" he muttered, "Sorry for getting mad at you bestie I'm just SO quirky!"

"It's okay, I forgive you for shooting me in the head with a glock 19"

"Ok whatever loser" Shrek smiled innocently

"Omg guys move out the way it's Barry Benson!" Someone yelled in the corridor, Shrek and Boris both turned their heads, and watched as the prettiest bee in school wall down the hallway like a crackhead

Shrek mumbled something to himself, but quickly met eye contact with Mr Benson

Barry smirked and walked dramatically to Shrek and Boris

"Hey shrek~" he cooed

"What do you want prick ass" Shrek rolled his eyes

"I was wondering how your night was~" Barry giggled like a maniac, eyes rolling back  while no one literally laughed

Shrek had enough of Barry's bullshit, so he pulled his Ak-47 from his asshole and shot Barry repeatedly in the head

He then proceeded to hand the gun to Boris, and stomped on Barry until he was a small brown stain

"Stupid bee" he spat, and sashayed away with Boris, while the hallway erupted into cheers

While a certain Hedgecock watched from afar.

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It was after school, and Shrek was walking back to his lovely mother's house when his onion senses started tingling again

He shot his head back, and gasped so loudly the earth began to shake

A girl with ugly ginger hair was calling and running for him

"SHREK!!"

"FIONA?!?!?!!"

It was Fiona. Shrek's ex girlfriend.

"What are you doing here..." He backed away from her

"After you left BigFatBadussyWood High School, I came looking for you, and now I've found you!" She reached for a hug, but before she could, she was thrown onto the road and ran over by a blue car.

Sonic.

Shrek watched as Fiona wiggled around like a worm dramatically, before dying and evaporating into dust.

"Hey bby teehee" Sonic came out from his expensive sports car, leaning on it

Shrek blinked and walked away

"Wait!"

"You're kinda a prick ngl" Shrek said

"That's mean." Sonic pouted like a baby.

"No. Like literally. You got pricks in yo hair. I don't like that."

"You little bitch!!!" Sonic screamed so loudly it broke the sound barrier, he pulled out a massive machine gun and went RATATTATATATATATTATATA on Shrek.

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