Habits Of My Heart

CHAPTER 1.

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

I should have left a letter; maybe if I left a note, I wouldn't have to explain to anyone what happened that day. I wouldn't have to explain how it feels to wake up in fear because you're reliving the same nightmare over and over again. Maybe if I just stuck to my usual route, I wouldn't have ended up 6ft underwater.

A year later, 365 days (About 12 months) of therapy, and here I was in the passenger seat of my mother's car on my way to my new apartment. I was looking out the window at the beautiful city, thinking about how my life would have been if I didn't almost die.

How my life would have been if everything around me had not been pushed back a year.

Life is about learning from your mistakes, but what have I done to the world that it didn't want me to be a part of it anymore. What mistake have I made? that deepest waves would gladly carry my body around and pull me deeper and deeper underwater. What have I done to the world to experience the fear of death? The fear of gasping for your last breath and wanting to keep fighting, but you don't have the strength.

Oh, dear world, what have I done? What was my mistake?

Growing up, my parents never spoiled me; it's not that we didn't have the money. My parents wanted to teach me that not everything in life is handed to you.

So I was never ungrateful for anything; I loved every aspect of my life. My parents were terrific. My father had his ways of being the most supportive dad in the world, and my mother was the sweetest angel you can meet. I was an incredible child growing up listened to my parents never questioned anything. Into my teenage years, I wasn't focused on what most kids would worry about.

I graduated high school with excellent grades even got a scholarship to one of the most outstanding universities. After my accident, because that is what the reports indicated, the other divers didn't intentionally cause a road crash which led to me making one wrong turn.

One wrong turn—

And my car was sinking.

It all happened in the summer of last year, the summer where I was supposed to enjoy my last few months with my parents and high school friends

After the accident was the hardest thing, I had to deal with everything in my life felt out of control. It took me a month or two to finally leave the hospital, but my misery wasn't over. The nightmares got worse. Whenever I close my eyes, I am reminded of that exact moment. My parents got worried about the dreams, the late-night screams, the walking up drenched in sweat.

So that when therapy started, therapy was a lifesaver. The nightmares slowly went away on their own, and everything slowly came together.

After a few months later of everything went back to normal, a few colleges contacted me about how they were still interested in me. To my surprise, the university where I lost my previous scholarship was one of the colleges that got a hold of me.

My parents were worried that maybe I wasn't ready, but I knew deep down that I needed to move on with my life. I was willing to show the world that I hadn't made a mistake that I was one of the good ones. I wanted to get the year of life I missed back.

I want to experience everything there is to experience in college.

As we pulled into the apartment complex that I rented for the semester, I could see in the rearview mirror that my father was right behind us with my car.