Everyday It Hurts A Little More

It All Has To Start Somewhere

This wasn’t just a small thing for Loki, it had never been a problem, only a way of coping. Always being alone wasn’t a weakness to him it was merely a way of making sure that no one could ever get close enough to him to cause him any harm. And this is how life went for Loki, oppressive parents who never said they were proud of him, who only ever commented on his flaws. Where the people who he was supposed to trust most and who he called ‘friend’ were the ones who would stab him in the back first. Loki only really had one friend… that was Anthony Stark. Tony wasn’t much better off than Loki when it came to their family lives and the ways in which they lived but the one thing that Tony did have and that Loki came to find lovable about his best friend, was a heart of gold.

No matter what time of the night it was if Loki sent him a text he would answer, every single time, he quickly became the only person that Loki could rely on. But this was more than just a friendship to him, he wasn’t quite sure yet but he thought he was homosexual, he knew that he had feeling for Anthony. He was all that he thought about at night, the only one who made him doubt the things that he did to himself. He was also the only one in which he could rely on.

Then there was Sif, she had been Loki’s childhood friend and they told each other everything, well almost anything, Loki hadn’t pulled together the courage yet to tell Sif or his parents that he was gay he was just too scared to even think about it. He and Sif talked to each other all day everyday but lately he felt like Sif was pulling away from him and he started to set himself up for yet another friend to give up on him after he had told them everything and pleaded in his mind that they would understand why he did what he did to himself. But it never worked, he still hadn’t learned that in reality no one cares… and no one wants to know the truth… they will quite happily live in ignorance if it means that they didn’t have to deal with you and your disgusting habits.

This is how Loki felt, this is how Loki always felt, no matter what he did he knew deep down that one day everyone would leave and that would be the day that he would give up. That would be the day that he finally pulled up the courage to end his own life.