( √ ) his name was jimin | pjm

chapter eight

CHAPTER
EIGHT

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"Hey..." That voice. No, it couldn't be true. Was I hallucinating?

Just as I was about to put the flowers on the grave, a soft voice sounded behind me, which by now was very familiar to me, had helped me sleep every night and had sometimes kept me from sleeping. But in reality his voice sounded even better and the thought occurred to me whether this would not be a real angel, who had come to get me, since my time on earth had run out.

The plants didn't even begin to reach the earthworm infested ground as I pulled my hand back towards me, slowly turning around before my jaw dropped. Not only was his voice honeyed, but he had an equally sweet face and cute demeanor that my lips quickly formed into a smile.

"Hello." No matter how confident I felt, my voice didn't take over any of it and I sounded shy, reserved whereas I really wanted to avoid that.

I couldn't describe how happy I was that he was alive and standing in front of me, after taking so long to find him, sometimes just on the verge of giving up, that I didn't see any real point in continuing the search. How glad I was not to have given up, to have continued the whole thing.

Jimin looked past me to the grave, which also drew my focus again and gradually the question appeared in my mind, who might be lying under here. But I felt it was far too rude to dare put that question in my mouth.

"You're Jimin, aren't you?", I inquired again, wanting to try to build a conversation between us and bring joy to his lonely heart by bringing out what I knew so far and he knew that there was someone who liked him, who wanted to get to know him and climb the stairs of a friendship together, step by step, step by step.

"Yeah right." A slight smile settled on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes, in which I couldn't see any sparkle either, nothing cheerful. They just seemed empty. Suppressing a sigh, I pondered what sentence I could come up with next.

"I hope this doesn't catch you off guard now.... But I got your CD's, and I listened to them both in their entirety, too." Silence. A quick sideways glance followed from my side, so I noticed his absent mine, as if he hadn't even taken in my words. His irides still stuck to the tombstone and a single tear ran wordlessly down his cheek, his lips curled and started to tremble, but he looked like he was wrestling with himself, not wanting to put on a show and cry in front of someone else.

How I would have loved to take him in my arms, gently hugging him to me, while softly whispered affirmations found their way into his eardrums, soothing him the way he had with me - without his knowledge.

But I was unsure how he would respond. How he would react to physical contact, whether it wouldn't make him uncomfortable, especially with a stranger who had just been met in the cemetery.

Sighing, I averted my gaze from him and looked down at the flowers still in my hand, ready to be given away.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" A pink color crossed Jimin's cheeks, ashamed for not listening properly and I couldn't help but smile at the whole thing. He was truly pure sugar. No wonder I was already half addicted to his CD's. Even if we didn't walk away as friends after this meeting, Jimin kept a place in my heart, as well as his records kept a place on my shelf.

"Um yeah, I meant I listened to your records and that's why I'm here." Awkwardly, I scratched the back of my neck and noticed the blush conjuring itself up, adding more color to my face.

"Honestly?" His voice was so uncertain and a little shaky. No wonder, if he had been silently crying until just now; or at least almost. With a simple nod, I gave him an answer to his question and a smile crept onto my plump lips.

I turned more in his direction and held out the bouquet of flowers to him, while a smile was also plastered on my face as his eyebrows came together and he couldn't follow my action at all, looking up at me in confusion.

"These are for you, Jimin." I clarified the little misunderstanding of my thoughts and how I was worried his body had already been buried lifeless under the ground. Although I didn't mean to, my beak just babbled on and I revealed how immensely happy I was to finally meet him; alive. Had I not stopped myself, my tongue would have almost lost what a help he had been to me these past weeks. Every day his voice filled my space and gave it more life, gave my heart more friends and my mouth another reason to smile.

Jimin seemed so overwhelmed and yet for the first time I could see something sparkling in his eyes, making my heart leap with joy and my pulse rise a little without me being able to explain it.

When I faced him like this, he seemed much calmer and more introverted than in the photographs, but I didn't blame him at all. It would have rather blown my mind if that wasn't the case after what he had been through. Yet here he was, still standing in front of me, having shown tremendous strength and keeping hope alive in him, even though sometimes the thoughts of giving up had crept into his mind.

I admired Jimin; from the bottom of my heart and he had my full respect.

"I still have some money, do you want to go out for dinner? Would be better than continuing to loiter around this gloomy place." Nodding at my suggestion, Jimin and I turned around, me moving closer to him, letting him slowly get used to my presence.

I hoped that this little, and more importantly, unofficial date would be memorable for him.

I would make sure of that.