( √ ) his name was jimin | pjm

chapter ten

CHAPTER
TEN

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"I've been expecting you YN. Feel free to come in." Smiling broadly, Jimin, whom I now knew even better, held the door open.

It must have been almost two months since we first met and had dinner together. Two long and exciting months, because although Jimin didn't feel quite up to it at first, we started meeting each other daily and took each other out. Be it to a small café or again to a restaurant, to a movie theater or to the zoo, on a walk or to ride a bike. No matter what it was, we spent time together and Jimin gradually got used to having such social contact again. The only ones who didn't let him get completely lost in loneliness at that time were his parents and his little sister, while for his big brother he was also already non-existent.

During that time I noticed that Jimin was rarely noticed, instead the attention was only on me. People always spoke only to me and not to us; as if Jimin wasn't even there, just a hallucination that made me see my brain.

The last few days we had only been in contact via our smartphones, Jimin just couldn't muster the strength to get under my eyes, but didn't want to miss the contact. In the meantime, we had even switched over to video chat, but for a long time Jimin hadn't even felt comfortable with that, so a normal phone call was carried out most of the time.

Today was the second time I was properly at his home, soaking up the wonderful scent that nearly blew my mind.

I was afraid that my heart would completely beat for him. I didn't want to scare him, to overwhelm him - that he would distance himself from me so as not to hurt me. Jimin was all but not ready to start anything romantic. The two months I had clearly felt how difficult it was for him to have a normal friendship, even though he was willing to have it and maintain it as well.

"Let's go to my room." Nodding, I allowed myself to be led and looked around unobtrusively, having to note that the entire apartment was kept fastidiously clean and tidy, making me feel strangely dirty and out of place here. My apartment looked in contrast to his reason on different - not only in terms of cleanliness factor. Everything harmonized perfectly here and most of the colors that caught your eye were bright and cheerful colors not like mine. I had chosen a dark design for much of my furniture, found it quite fitting and simple; that was quite enough for me.

He was quieter than usual; more absent. When we inadvertently made eye contact, a red glow traced his cheek. More often than usual, he ran his hand through his thick hair and scratched the back of his hand a bit, probably even without feeling any real irritation to prompt him to do so. He was nervous. To my detriment, I didn't manage to make sense of it. What was causing this nervousness in him?

"YN? Um...can I do your hair?" Surprised, my head turned in his direction, my irises surveying him and ordering my thoughts. An eventual nod from me gave him permission to let loose on my hair, and he picked up the hairbrush already here, bringing it gently into contact with my mane, looking fastidious not to bring out any pain in me.

"This is really relaxing," my mouth murmured as if by itself already after a short while and my eyelids saw this as an occasion to close, wanting to surrender more to Jimin's work and get a more intense sensation, so switched off their sense almost automatically; at least as long as this would last. What I wished it would never stop - it took away all stress and literally sucked any anxiety out of me, putting calm and relaxation in me in return. It was almost creepy - just like his voice, which could have just such an effect on me; right from the start. Yet we had been strangers then, unaware of each other's existence.  "Jimin, can I ask you something?" My eyelids lingered closed as I again proved my patience, waiting to get my answer in several minutes, unsure what kind.