Winter's Widow pt 2!

I Vow

*Steve rubs yours shoulder and then walks out.. he pats Bucky's shoulder as he passes and Bucky nods*
Y/N- round 2??
Bucky- ehh maybe.. depends on the answer to this question.. *You motion for him to continue* did you even think to tell me??
*You sigh and rub your belly*
Y/N- of course I did Bucky! Every time the pain happened I thought about telling you.. but-
Bucky- see there shouldn't be a "but" at the end of that sentence.. it should be "so I told you the first time it happened"
*You roll your eyes and start to get angry*
Y/N- just leave.. I'm done
Bucky- ha! Oh we're not done.. even if you kick me out now, we still sleep in the same bed.. this will be resolved tonight..
Y/N- you're insane if you think I'm gonna let you sleep in our bed tonight!
Bucky- let me?! Ha! Okay.. that's funny..
Y/N- what?!?
Bucky- I'll be in that bed regardless of what you say.. *A tension is building between you two.. you can see where this is about to lead*
Y/N- like hell you will..
*Bucky closes the distance between you two and pushes you against the wall.. he kisses you, it's rough and full of teeth.. he pulls your hair and you bite his lip.. he hikes your dress up and you push him away.. he comes back full force and you slap him across the face.. he takes your jaw in his hand and kisses you roughly. You shove past him and he grabs your arm*
Y/N- you're hurting me..
Bucky- No.. that's the bruise from where you fell and didn't tell me.. You know better than anyone how well I know my own strength..

*You yank your arm out of his grasp and put some distance between you two.. if he wants to fight then you'll fight.. but you're not about to give him the advantage of sex*
Y/N- you're such a jackass.. do you even care about what I was going through today?!?
Bucky- of course I do-
Y/N- really?!? Because you haven't once actually held me or said a comforting word since you found out.. you're looking at me like you hate me..
Bucky- I don't-
*You lose it*
Y/N- I needed you!!! I finally let you in and admitted that I was hurting and in pain and you shoved me away.. you didn't speak to me the whole way and when I tried to tell you how I was feeling you just said "stop".. *Bucky's face changes* we were waiting for the doctor and I said " Bucky" and you said "Stop" do you know what I was gonna say?!? Do you?!?
Bucky- No-
Y/N- exactly! Because in that moment you valued your fucking pride and being petty over actually being there for me! For your wife!
*You sit and cry.. the pain hits again and you cry out as you hold your stomach.. Bucky is by your side and rubbing your arms*
Bucky- y/n-
*You shove him off and power through the pain.. you needed to say your peace*
Y/N- I was gonna say that I was scared! That I was sorry and that I wish I could take it all back! That I need you!! That I hated myself just as much as you hated me in that moment!
Bucky- y/n please-
Y/N- in that moment I was back in Hydra, Bucky... *His face changes* I was taught that "we don't give in, we don't admit defeat, we don't show pain.. or else you're punished" I needed my husband, I needed you and when I let you in and I admitted my pain and my defeat I thought you would meet me with grace and mercy and love.. but you punished me.. I wasn't met with the love I needed, in that moment I was met with a new version of the cold, hard training I was brought up with.. and it was at your hand.. not Winter's this time.. *You voice breaks* yours...
*Bucky looks like he just got stabbed.. shocked, confused, hurt.... "Good" is all you thought*
Bucky- y/n.. I- I'm.. I don't even know what to say..
Y/N- there's a first...

*You sit in silence for awhile.. Bucky looks over at you and comes to sit next to you*
Bucky- I am sorry that I made you feel that way.. if I could take it back I would.. you mean the world to me, y/n. And I hate that I've made you feel the way he made you feel.. I just pray you can forgive me somehow..
*You don't have the words.. sit in silence a little longer*
Y/N- so are we gonna fight some more??
Bucky- I don't want to-
Y/N- but you will if you have to..
*Bucky sighs*
Bucky- look.. do I understand your reasoning? Yes.. do I think it was a stupid decision? Also yes.. *You hang your head in your hands*
Y/N, baby.. look at me.. please?
Y/N- I can't..
Bucky- I'm sorry for how I treated you today and if I made you feel- *Bucky takes a breath* that I made you feel alone.. I could have lost you, y/n... we could have lost Winnie.. Grant could have lost his mother.. *You cry even more* I'm not saying all this to hurt you or berate you.. I just need you to realize the depth of your decisions..
*You look up and stare at the wall*
Y/N- I knew I wasn't losing her Bucky.. and I knew I wasn't going to die.. we have more children, we know we make it to the future.. I will die one day but today was not that day..
Bucky- regardless y/n, it was reckless *Bucky had tears in his eyes* ... you could've of been seriously hurt.. for all you knew your appendix could have been rupturing and you were more worried about Steve's birthday.. *You cry and Bucky looks down at you.. his heart breaks.. he slowly moves his hand to your back and he rubs it as he talks* and I love that you care so deeply about him and everyone else but you have to be Selfish sometimes.. put your needs above others at least once a year.. that's all I ask.. *He sees the slightest grin on your face... it's gone as quickly as it appeared* I'll be done talking about what happened today if you can just recognize where I'm coming from.. why I was and still am, slightly, mad.
*You nod.. the words won't come out but you understand why he was so protective and angry... you know he's about to prompt you with his sweet "words baby" so you lay your hand on his and squeeze.. he rubs your back again*
Bucky- thank you.. I just want to move forward. *You nod* Can we make a promise to each other that there will be no more secrets in our marriage.. please? We had so many secrets for so long.. I'm done keeping them..
*You mange to get out a quiet response*
Y/N- yes..