Winter's Widow pt 2!

The First Of Many But We Turned A Corner

‼️TW- talks of Postpartum Depression and postpartum issues ‼️

*You wake up about every 2 hours to feed and Change Winnie.. she's hanging in like a champ.. if you had pumped during the day then Bucky could help as well.. instead he just wakes up and sits with you while you feed her.. he wants to make sure you feel seen and included.. he didn't want to be getting a peaceful nights sleep when you have to wake up.. Bucky changes Winnie and swaddles her, he lays her down and she's out again*
Y/N- thank you baby.. *You kiss Bucky and then lay down*
*when Winnie wakes up around 5am Bucky gets her before you can wake up.. he takes her around the compound for a walk and he warms the one pouch of milk that you pumped last night.. he gets it in the bottle and comes back to the room.. he feeds Winnie by the window as he watches you sleep. He gets her back down and then you all wake up at 7am to Grants normal morning babbles.. thankfully Winnie is just awake and looking up at the Mobil above her bassinet.. she can't see it yet but she's staring at it like she can.. you slowly wake up and see Bucky slowly storing as well.. his hair is all messed up and honestly... super sexy, you chuckle and rub his chest*
Y/N- you grab Grant and while I get ready for her *He starts to stand up and you take his hand.. you kiss it* thank you for getting her at 5.. I really needed it.
*Bucky gently smiles and leans down.. he kisses you and then smiles*
Bucky- you're welcome Baby.. I'm more than happy to help.
*He walks into Grant's room and you hear Grant laugh.. you smile and then look at Winnie.. You get dressed and cleaned up, again yay Child Birth. You take a deep breath*
Y/N- Okay y/n... let's have a great day.. and even if all you do is feed and snuggle Winnie and take Naps, that's okay.. you're doing something.. *Bucky walks back in and hears the tail end of your Pep talk.. you hear him whisper to Grant*
Bucky- give mama some bunny kisses.. huh? I think she needs them..
*Grant smiles and crawls up the bed.. he pulls up on you and rubs his nose against yours.. you smile and kiss him*
Y/N- thank you Little Wolf!
*Bucky pulls him away and you grab Winnie*
Y/N- okay Winnie J... you hungry??
*She nurses and then you pump.. by the time you're done she's needs to be changed and then she'll nap.. then it's time to do it all over again*
Bucky- okay.. you wanna nap or maybe get out of the room for a bit??
Y/N- I'll nap and then maybe we can talk a walk after I feed her at 10..
Bucky- sounds like a plan baby.. *He kisses you and then lifts Grant.. he wants to stay with you but he pouts and goes with Bucky.. you blow him kisses and then Bucky shuts the door.. You sigh and rub your face*
Y/N- you're okay y/n.. just need some sleep..

*You nap as long as Winnie does and then you nurse her and get her ready for your walk... you hold her as you walk out to the main room.. Bucky and Grant look up and smile.. Steve and Nat see you two and they are up and by your side before you know it.. Steve takes Winnie and Nat plays with her feet as they sit on the couch... You sit with Bucky and lean against him... he kisses your head*
Bucky- Still wanna take that walk??
Y/N- Nah... it hurt too much just walking from our room to here.. *Bucky nods and rubs your shoulder..
*Bucky pulls out a protein bar, a Gatorade, and a glass of water*
Bucky- eat this.. *You look at him* now, come on.. you need it.. You eat the bar and Bucky gives you an approving smile* okay now the glass of water.. *You roll your eyes and drink the glass.. he rubs your arm* okay.. now sip on the Gatorade.. *You nod and Bucky gives you a look. You smile and answer*
Y/N- okay Bucky..
Bucky- thank you baby..
*You both turn and watch Steve and Nat melt over Winnie and she just stares at them.. Grant pulls up and pats your lap.. you smile and Bucky lifts him gently into your lap.. he snuggles up to your chest.. you rub his back and kiss his head*
Y/N- hey Little Wolf.. I've missed you too but don't worry.. we will get into a routine soon.. okay?? Okay!
*Grant coos*

*Thor's party that night is happy and sad.. you sat to the side holding Winnie as she slept.. Thor talked to you once but you knew it was hard for him.. Winnie needs to be fed before the end and you miss Thor's big goodbye while you're nursing her.. it has hard for you to not be out there.. you were so sad that you were missing it all.. thankfully Bucky made Thor go say goodbye to you.. Bucky takes Winnie and Thor Hugs you*
Y/N- we love you Thor and you are always welcome.. we will see you for Sarah's birth??
Thor- wouldn't miss it... *He hugs you again and then pats Bucky on the back... he smiles down at Winnie and then he heads out.. you can't help but cry.. you lay down and Bucky just rubs your back*
Bucky- I'm here when you are ready to talk.. *You nod.. Bucky Gets Winnie ready for bed and lays her down.. Bucky gets Grant down and then comes in to lay with you.. he just rubs your back and kisses your head*
Y/N- when I was missing that party I felt angry..
Bucky- Well that's understandable-
Y/N- At Winnie! For needing to be fed right then.. I was mad at our baby! What's wrong with me?!?
*You clutch his shirt and cry.. He rubs your back and down your body*
Bucky- nothing y/n... nothing is "wrong" with you.. a lot of Women deal with this and y/n. It's just the rush of everything and I know you know that.. it's okay.. if it ever feels like it's too much you just let me know.. *You take a deep breath and look up at Bucky*
Y/N- thank you.. I know it's temporary.. its just so upsetting in the meantime..
Bucky- tell me about it..
Y/N- I just feel like a shell of myself sometimes.. like the old me is being sucked out by everyone else and I have nothing left to give.. *Bucky hums and you continue* I want to be able to hold Winnie for hours and watch Grant play and laugh but it is just so draining after awhile
*Bucky rubs your back*
Bucky- well promise me if you ever feel it's too much you will let me know.. immediately.. okay?? *You nod* even if I'm not here or if I'm in the middle of something, I will be here.. *You nod* hey, look at me.. *You look up* thank you for telling me.. and thank you for sharing your pain.. *Bucky smiles and kisses you.. You push him on his back.. you roll over on him slightly and Bucky smiles*
Bucky- baby baby baby... *You kiss him* hey look we need- *You pull back*
Y/N- you don't want me?!
Bucky- I do! I do but-
Y/N- but what?!?
Bucky- you had a baby 2 days ago.. not even type full days! I want you all the time, everyday, whenever possible... but not at the expense of 1) your safety and 2) your comfort.. you might be feeling all tingly now but the minute we got to it you'd be in a lot of pain...
*You sigh and lay back down.. you hold Bucky's hand*
Y/N- I know.. i don't know what came over me because if you had taken it further with me I would have ended up shoving you away.. *Bucky chuckles and kisses your head*
Bucky- I know.. you would of said something like "I just shoved your baby out of me yet you want to fuck me?!?" *You laugh and nod*
Y/N- yeah.. I would of
*Bucky holds you and you rub his back*