Broken Heart Journal

After Break Up - Stage 4

It's December now.

The time has changed and it's been almost a month, but my lock screen password is still your birthday. Not even a second of my life that I don't think of you, wondering how are you doing.

I'm still in denial.

I know you blocked me.
So I saved your number with your profile picture attached, just to make me feel like we're still connected. I know it's crazy ... and I know I'm faking it. But I feel better when I do it, at least for now.

Do you remember?

I asked you once, "How long did you spend until you start a new relationship after we broke up back then?"

"I think a month. I don't remember it." You answered easily like it doesn't matter at all.

No. It matters. A lot.

It's been almost a month now and your answer that day stuck on my mind.
It gives me anxiety.
Because I know from your answer that it was easy for you to replace me with someone new,
but not for me.

What about now?

Have you forgotten me?
Have you replaced me with someone new?
Is it easier for you this time because this is not our first break up?

I did try my best to understand you and always put you first.
But I guess my best isn't your best.

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