Words Of Emotion

sigh of hope - little explanation

feeling like the world can not bring you anything anymore

seeing everything the wrong way

I shouldn't think the thoughts I have,
I shouldn't be like this

but what can I do differently?

I try to help myself, I try to open the curtains and let the sun shine into my life again

but I'm not strong enough

can you believe it?

I can not open it, I can't allow it

If I do and see life and the people,
and everything that acts like life is worth it

I only fall deeper, deeper and deeper,
the only point of it is confirming my thinkings

but, what if
there ís hope ...

should I hope of hope?

just hope of the unknown?

maybe there's a person, someone or something
that makes it all, worth it
however, after all

-

Sooo I wrote a little part, & it's not done yet. just the beginning of something I think. Can delete it later 'cause I don't really like this one but it's just to clarify some stuff.

someone recently commented on one of my poems & it made me think.
I know some of my poems can be deep as fuck & maybe a little scary bc of how much I let you in into my shit
& that's why I wanted to write a little about how I get over my thoughts, my anxiety & just everything that makes me feel the worst.

I am so bad at forming my words in situations & explaining my feelings. So what I've shown you till now is not what it always looks like.
These poems are moments when everything flows out my mind & turns magically into words.

So that's why I'm sometimes struggling too. When I want to write everything out but can not turn it into something that people like, makes me feel extra bad.

So if that doesn't work I don't really know what to do and so.

Anyways that wasn't my point

I wanted to write about hope & to show that life ís worth it.
The comment made me realize that maybe people are reading my stuff and thinking like, 'oh I can relate' & I'm scared I'm pulling people into the deep with me. I don't want that. I don't want to support any of the dark thoughts too.

So if you are reading this, & you have or are feeling the same way; don't give up. Like me, I write about it & try to overcome my thoughts. Yes it is so hard, but keep pushing. & keep looking for the smallest things that make you enjoy or smile you a little more. bc that's what keeps me up, mostly.

Like I said, I can't really form my words & I don't even remember what my point was. But I want to say that if you have nobody around you, talk to someone you feel comfortable with online or someone you don't even know. You can always, always talk to me too ofcourse (if there's someone who needs that and is reading this :)

I only have my faith & that's very helpful too.

Gosh I'm so sorry but I don't fucking know anymore what I'm talking about. So tired hahaha
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone even when it feels like that. When you feel like shit, message me if you want & we can talk about it.

I love you & everyone so much and I'm so happy with the messages I receive. Sorry if you are waiting on a Chapter, I'm working on it, but this was also to clarify that I don't always write like you see me write. It can be shit.

I'm done now. I've talked enough :)

(So sorry if you didn't understand anything I just wrote. Ask questions if you want ofc. Just needed to get this of my chest. after I had read that comment it felt wrong to not talk about what the world has to give. You cán get out.)

ily

Applause for anyone that made it this far btw 🌝