Ones We Regret

Prologue

Alira

2 years ago
Atherton, California

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

I listen to the thirteenth man repeating the same words to me. I don't respond. Not that it would make a difference. They're gone. And they're not returning. Not today. Not tomorrow. Never. I numbly nod my thanks as I finally look at the man speaking. Uncle Dan. His black hair as always is slicked back in the creepy way which I find very unsettling. He looks so much like dad. His eyes, just like my dad are green, though his eyes were filled with even more life and happiness. He was wearing a pantsuit like always. Today it was black, like every person wearing around me, including me.

I look at the closed caskets and close my eyes briefly and let a tear drop silently on my cheek. I inhale and rub my cheek discreetly so as to not attract my aunts' attention. It wasn't that they weren't good. I just didn't want their pity or anyone's for that matter. I bite my inner cheek and look around to distract myself from my inner turmoil. The church was decorated in a simple yet elegant manner. The flowers were lilies, just what my mom loved, white and pale green banners were erected from the top of the church, my dad's favourite colours. Two caskets, both white marble were placed at the centre. Not many people were invited. Scar wanted only immediate family to attend and I never really got the chance to add. I just got lucky that Uncle Dan told me where it was otherwise I would never have known about the location.

I look around for Scar, finally spotting her with Aunt Laura speaking in hushed tones. Her eyes spot me in an instant and she excuses herself and comes straight to me. She's incredibly beautiful, just like mom, blonde hair that was styled in an immaculate bun, a jawline I was always jealous of, sharp cheekbones and beautiful green eyes, full heart shaped lips and pale skin like dad's. She was wearing a skin tight bodycon dress that showed her curves and the click of her heels echoed in the high - ceiling church. Her face was like a tight slap across my face and I inhale sharply and look downwards. She just looks so much like them. Day and night. That's what everyone called us. Where she burned as bright as a sun, I was as cool as the night. Complete opposites yet we couldn't live without each other. Lived. Now she hates me more than anything in the world.

"Are you done?" Her sharp voice cuts like a knife and I tense immediately. I inhale and push all my emotions down until they're not there. Until I feel absolutely nothing.

"What do you want, Scar?" I ask, my voice smooth and cold just like I want it. But I know what Scar wants. Her expression, her tone, her body language tells me she doesn't want me here but she knows that I am even more stubborn than her. The stubbornness that had now led to our parents' death.

"Don't play with me. It's not like you care. So stop being such a fake doll. I don't want you here. They wouldn't want you here." She delivers the words with such cruelty that I couldn't hide my flinch. Her eyes soften a bit before they harden again and she steps closer. "Get. Out."

I raise my chin and look her straight in the eyes and reply my words laced with ice. "Shut the fuck up or leave if you don't want to look at my face. They're my parents too, you don't have to be such a dramatic bitch about it. Atleast have some shame at their funeral, they wouldn't want us fighting right now."

She scoffs at my words and looks around but I already know that the church is now empty. Everyone's already outside either drinking the expensive wine or going back to their mansions in their expensive cars. Her ruby red lips tilt in a smile, the one which always promised trouble, the one I always loved but now hate because that meant completely different when we were young but now it shows her utter hatred for me. "I don't ever want to see you again, Alira. Pack you bags and leave the city if you want our family to live in peace. I'll give you the money, I'll send the tickets. Just leave amd don't come back. I've lost the most precious people of my life because of you. They won't ever be back, you get that don't you? It's you. It's always about you."

I grit my teeth at her words. God, she can be such a bitch sometimes but her words strike deeper than I would have liked. Me and Scar had always been the bestest friends since forever but now I couldn't even recognise her. She was a complete stranger now. My elder sister hated me so much that I know that I could never get her back. I've not only lost my parents tonight but my sister too. She had always been an open book for me, and I could easily read how much she truly wants me to leave.

"Don't worry. You won't ever see my face again." With these parting words, I turn on my heel and walk away, away from everything I was and love, from everything I never wanted to part from.

"I wish it was you who died." Scar screams in the empty church but I don't reply. I didn't have to. Because I wish so too.