Ones We Regret

Chapter 10

Present
Westminster, London
Alira

I close my eyes and tip my head back and lose myself in the music. I sway my hips with the beat and raise my hands and roam my hand softly in my hair. I pointedly ignore the feeling of awareness of Darius' gaze on me from the first floor and let my body guide me for the night. Tess dances with me, her eyes closed and her face towards the ceiling. We've had more than a few drinks and we are past the point where we care about our surroundings. Who wanted to come here for drinks and then sit in a VIP room and barrier themselves from the fun?

I feel a hand slide on my waist and I slightly part my eyes and look over my shoulder. I notice the same guy from before, Max I think, and he gives me a smirk and I close my eyes again. He pulls me closer until our bodies are flushed together and I open my eyes and my gaze straight goes towards Darius. He looks at me with an intensity which takes my breathe away. He isn't looking at Max or his arm, his gaze is on me, my hands and my body. His gaze isn't leering, it's amazed, as if he can't take his eyes off me it makes me feel like a queen, like I am enough, like I am beautiful. The entire song I don't take my eyes off him and he doesn't break eye contact even once. Max is a good dancer, he easily keeps up with my speed and I turn my body towards him and skim my hand on the nape of his neck. His hands drop to my hips, bringing us closer until I could easily count his eyelashes and see the starting of a tattoo on his chest covered by his shirt.

A set of hands land on my waist and pull me towards a hard body and recognition slams into me. I don't even have to turn around to see who was standing behind me, his dark and spicy scent was enough.

"Told you, shortcake. Not. Happening." Darius' deep timbre comes close to my neck and I barely cover my shiver. Max looks at me and Darius and shrugs and turns around. 

"Ugh. You've just spoiled my fun." I fake whine and turn towards him, his hands easily gliding across my waist as he pulls me in. He ignores my words and starts dancing to the beats of the music.

"Temptress. That's what you are." He leans in and whispers and I trace scent of mint and soda on his breathe. I still at his words and he stops too and I look up towards him and inhale the needed air. You're a temptress, that's what you are. Unloved. Cold. Worthless. I try to inhale but can't, I try to step back but the club is too crowded, the lights too bright, the sound too sharp. I breathe in but the air goes nowhere. I grit my teeth. I can't have a panic attack in front of him. Temptress, that's what you are. Stupid. Stupid. Unloved. Cold. Worthless. I try to breathe in and out like Gwyn had taught me. My hands starts shaking, the weird feeling blooming in my belly like it does when I am seconds away from a full on panic attack. My lungs squeeze themselves, not letting enough air pass through my nostrils and my breathe stutters. My entire body starts shaking, my limbs growing cold, all traces of alcohol gone from my body. Concern blooms on Darius' face and he steps closer but I step back. He reaches for me again but I stop him with my hand. I close my eyes, breathing in and out eight times. My tongue has leaden in my mouth, a sour taste develops on my tastebuds. Darius holds my face with his hands, his grip gentle yet firm.

"Breathe, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Breathe with me. In you go, hold now, let it out. Good." I follow Darius' instructions, the contact helping me more than I would have liked to accept and we breathe together. My shaking stops in a few moments, the invisible wire squeezing my lungs releasing it and I exhale heavily. I nod at Darius and he releases my face. "Want me to drop you home?" He asks and I shake my head and instead grab his arms and wrap them around my waist.