The Zoo - Tourists' Guidelines During Visit

8. Document in zookeeper's office

(Untitled, no introduction, just a printed document sticked firmly on the wooden table)

1. Accept any workers no matter what coloured suits they are wearing. Although the zoo only provides blue suits, if they wear the same styled suits of black/red colour, also see them as workers.

2. When no one is present, it is normal to hear a child's sobs or laughter from outside the office. Ignore, pretend not hear, do not show any uneasiness or annoyance.

3. Do not permit workers to bring their pets to work. If someone insisting on disobeying, there is no need to fine them. Just tell them to bear their own consequences.

4. Check the number of white lions in the lions area every three days, mark any change in frequency, and save it in the table inside the computer file "It". Don't investigate what "it" is, don't change the name of the document, don't discuss about the folder with anyone, including your family.

5. Every map should include a dotted line to tear off. The map must be produced by a specific company. The contact information is saved in the word file in the folder. Three maps should be always available in the office.

6. No matter how frequent elephant area security guards resign, how much welfare they demand, treat them well and try your best to satisfy them. They are not being unreasonable, but best not to know too much about the reason behind.

7. While checking on staff's work, if you see workers chasing after rabbits, picking up dried jellyfish or rabbits bitten to death by white lions, it is normal. There is no need to scold or ask about; however, make sure that the aftermath is well-done.

8. The office should stay lit between 1:15~6:00 in the morning, even if no one is present. The power source here is stronger than anywhere in the zoo. Power outage is abnormal occurence. If so, immediately take a map on the right side of the desk, tear it off along the dotted line and take it in hand and leave the office. Tell the first worker you see, no matter what colour their suit is, what they are doing, to fix the power outage. They won't refuse.

9. Don't investiage whether the aquarium exists, but if you do see the aquarium, you may take a walk inside. Follow the notice outside if you're outside the aquarium, follow that inside if you're inside. If contradictions are observed, decide which notice to respect according to where your body is when reading it.

10. The couch in the office only has ape plush and white lion plush. If a goat/rabbit/elephant plush is seen, there is no need to stay in the office today. Leave, return only when monitor room staff inform about the disappearance of the extra doll(s).

11. Nap is allowed, but if you decide to work at night, use any method to stay awake. Don't get drowsy. If you cannot ensure your mental status, don't work at night.

12. CCTVs may malfunction occasionally. Check for the presence of any animal hair to determine whether it's normal malfunctioning. If yes, do not fix it within a month. Prepare a mini camera by yourself if necessary. The finance department will help claim the fees after being informed.

13. Dried jellyfish in trash cans is normal occurence. Just inform the cleaning workers when they take out the trash.

14. If any one of the above rules is broken, pretend nothing happened and stay in the office for 13 hours. Call for food delievery when you need to eat, and contact workers to bring the food in. Do not leave the office, do not look at the delivery guy or worker at the eye, do not look at the mirror. Always remind yourself that humans have two eyes, and two eyes only.

15. Always bear in mind that humans lives are more important than animal lives. Sacrifice any animal if necessary. Don't pity on them. You don't know if they are animals.