Journal Entries

Conflicted Feelings

(At this time my partner had broken up with me, and I began feeling things for my best friend. I have no way of knowing if it was only to fill a void, or I really did have feelings for them, but it is the past now. I shall be replacing names with [REDACTED] for privacy purposes.)

"It is only the second day, yet I already wish to return home. I wish to see my beloved."

"I wrote the above when it was my second 24 hours. It is currently 1:35 AM, and I cannot sleep. It is my third 24 hours. Hopefully, with a little luck, I shall be released in the afternoon. Around 17 hours. At least... 17 hours until my baker-act is over." (A baker-act is a law passed saying that you have to stay in this particular mental health ward for at least 3 days before you can be released once you have been admitted.) "These people are kind, but this place still reminds me all too much of a prison. These white walls that sctrictly confine, our inability to leave so apparent at every hour..."
"I miss [REDACTED]."
"It is 1:43 AM. At least I am blessed to have this journal... I can record my thoughts, emotions, deepest desires... with the power of this pen, I can create infinitely. I miss home, but the schedule usually keeps me busy. Now that I'm supposed to be asleep, I have nothing besides my mind and my pen."
"That is enough."

(My ex-partner had broken up with me due to abuse of nicotine as an underage person. They hated smokers, and I had become one. My best friend was there for me no matter what, and so, I began to fall for them. Later I would give my ex-partner more chances, but I had no way of confirming or denying anything I felt.)