Confusion (Tronnor AU)

Chapter 3

*Connor's POV*

When I was told to go to the office, I gathered up my stuff and left straight away. I had no idea what had happened, but if Ms Whittaker had had to come and tell me personally, then it must have been pretty bad. After around three minutes, I stopped strolling through the corridors and seated myself on one of the plastic chairs outside the principal's office. Reaching behind myself, I knocked on the door; three hits.

"Come in" Ms Whittaker's stern, clear voice came through the wall between us, and I entered the small room.

I took a seat at the other side of her desk, facing the woman who was in charge of the school as she stared at me with a scary yet pitiful gaze. She blinked, shaking herself out of the trance that she was in, and gave me a small, weak smile. This was the first time I had ever seen her smile, and honestly it scared the shit out of me.

"Ah, Connor! How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright I guess" I shrugged. "And yourself?"

"I've been better" Ms Whittaker gave an awkward chuckle, and then sighed. "Connor, something has happened, and I'd prefer not to be the person to tell you, but if I don't then nobody will. So, just sit and listen to me.

"I have just received some phone calls from the hospital and the police. At 10:48 this morning, your mother passed away. The police informed me that at around 10, a man had crept into your house while your mom was cleaning, and took her life. A neighbour heard the disturbance, and called an ambulance. They did everything they could, but it just wasn't enough. I'm sorry Connor."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. All I could do was sit there, staring blankly at Ms Whittaker's face, not being able to show any emotion. I should have burst into tears, or hit something, or show any sign of feeling, llike a normal human being. But I couldn't, I just couldn't. It didn't seem real; the person I relied on for everything was gone. It was so sudden and unexpected and I had no idea what to do with myself. But  apparently, Ms Whittaker wasn't done speaking, and she continued with herself.

"However, there's an issue." she stated. "You now have no legal guardian. As I'm sure you know, your father is abroad on his business travels, and he won't be back for 3 years, at the very least. You have no grandparents, or aunties or uncles or anybody, who doesn't live overseas. Now, as you're 17, you have a choice. You can live by yourself, you can stay at a friend's, or you can be accepted into a childrens' home. This is entirely up to you."

A million thoughts were running through my head, and this just made it worse. However, I knew what I wanted to happen. "I'd like to live by myself."

"Of course. Would you want to live in your current house? Or would you like to stay in an apartment? I know this is a lot to take in right now, and these are pretty serious decisions I'm asking you to make, but take your time. This must be really hard for you."

The expression she held on her face was making me feel phsyically ill. Ms Whittaker was trying to look sympathetic, however with the dense creases in her worn, leathery skin, and the cold, tired glare in her glassy eyes, it wasn't working out very well. Her face had aged considerably, probably to do with stress, and she couldn't show emotions without it looking fake. I kind of pitied her about it.

"I want to stay at home. I can always change my mind if I don't like it. I just want to pretend like nothing has happened. I never saw my mom that much anyway, she worked late and we always rushed to get ready in the mornings. It's not going to be too different, I hope."

Honestly, I was trying really to keep my shit together, and I think I did pretty well. I nodded at Ms Whittaker, and she simply nodded back as I picked up my bag from the floor and exited the room. The final bell had just rang, and I was being pushed through the crowd of people who were going home. Going home back to their families, their happy, average lives. I was going back home to a crime scene, a memory, a ghost. 

I wanted to get home as soon as I could, but at the same time I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to have to face the reality that my mom was murdered, and I didn't know why. I walked and walked, and when I reached the block my house was on, I could already see the police tape. That guy from my class was stood outside, just staring at it. What was his name again? Troy? Wait, Troye with an e. I went over to him, and coughed so he turned around.

"Oh, hey Connor. What happened here?"

"My mom was murdered." I stated bluntly, no emotion showing on my face.

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry. That's fucking awful." Troye looked shocked, and I could tell he didn't know what to do.

"I'm scared, Troye. What if the same person comes after me? What if I'm not suited to living alone? What if everything just goes horribly wrong? I don't know what to do with myself."

I didn't know where that mini outburst came from, and I regretted it almost as soon as the words left my mouth. Troye gave me a hug, and it felt nice. It felt like I hadn't just lost everything, that I still had hope. That I had somebody I loved, family or not. Then I remembered, Troye and I were barely friends. As far as I could think, this was the first time we had spoken properly. And yet that hug meant so much to me.

"Well, I, er, I should probably leave." Troye stuttered awkwardly.

"Ok yeah right. You have family to go home to. I kinda don't wanna be alone right now, but what can I do right?" I laughed nervously.

"I can stay with you, if you'd like? I mean, I know we're hardly friends, it's just.." he trailed off.

"Sure, that would be cool." I smiled at him. "Thanks, Troye."

We both walked over to  the policemen who were speaking to each other outside my house. They told me that I shouldn't really go home tonight, because of the crime scene and any possible evidence.  Troye said that I could stay at his for the night, and I decided that was the best thing to do. The policemen let me go in and get some clothes and essentials, I just had to be careful and not touch anything.

Once I quite literally got my shit together, Troye and I walked the few blocks over to his house. His mom already knew what had happened, and I guessed Troye had texted her while I was getting my things. She welcomed me, and I felt safe here. I didn't feel so alone.

~~~~~~~

hey fam!

so, it's been like a month. it took me a month to update last time as well. to anybody who had to put up with that, then sorry 

also this chapter was kinda rushed and it's really shitty and badly put together and i'm too lazy to proof read it like i know i should do, so i'm honestly so sorry i just felt like i should update and yeah idk man

i finished school for easter break today which is good, i don't have to go to school for two weeks. i'll try and update during then, but no promises bc i'm useless as hell

anyway if you liked this mess of a chapter then please vote n shit, also hmu on twitter/tumblr if you feel like it, they're both @lazytronnor

bye fam!!