Memoirs of a Kunoichi • Sasuke Uchiha [ON HOLD]

Scroll Seven • The Hokage

Chapter Seven

“One must lose themselves in the darkness before they’re able to see the light. We had to lose ourselves to find our way.”

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A large chunk of my shirt was missing—it seemed whoever patched me up was too modest to remove my shirt—and a heavily antiseptic bandage had been placed over the wound. I knew that beneath the bandage, raw skin and muscle had been exposed to infection because of my stupidity. I couldn’t meet Kakashi Sensei’s gaze as I began tracing the outline of the bandage with one of my forefingers. I felt numb inside; I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this secret to myself and I doubted the amount of strength I had to keep pushing myself forward. The doubt ate away at my mental health, deteriorating me to a mere hollow shell. My forefinger traced over a raw area of the wound, and I couldn’t help but flinch away as a grimace appeared over my features. I was doing everything in my power to remain composed in front Kakashi; if I were to break down in front of him, I would most likely reveal a little too much information. “Please refrain from playing with your bandage, Ren. I had to stitch you up myself because I couldn’t let you go back to the hospital so soon after your discharge. People would have had several questions and suspicions about who you really were, especially if they saw that you were hurt again. I also did this as a favor for you because I am your legal guardian appointed by the Third Hokage, and I do see good within you. I know much of the Akiyama Clan, and medical shinobi would have noticed that you’re highly susceptible to natural energy. You shouldn’t draw so much attention towards yourself, Ren.”

The color immediately drained from my face as Kakashi leaned over a bit, a serious glint dwelling within his gaze as he watched me, waiting for any form of reaction. My heart was pounding rapidly against my ribcage and I wasn’t sure how I was able to breathe at that very moment. In a hush tone that was barely above a whisper, Kakashi asked me the question I had been dreading the most since my arrival in the Hidden Leaf.

“Where do your loyalties rely, Ren?”

Kakashi’s Sensei’s question filled me with dread as I immediately averted my gaze from his, my emerald hues landing on the bedroom door. The thought of escaping and wondering how fast it would take me to reach that door passed through my mind, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it out of here…at least not alive. A stare off ensued as I watched Kakashi Sensei through narrowed eyes, the thought of leaving this bedroom in a body bag passing through my thoughts every now and then. I took a deep breath, quickly regaining my composure as I diverted my gaze away from Kakashi’s, gazing off into the distance as I spoke in a low voice. “I have no idea what you’re talking about Kakashi Sensei. My loyalties rely within myself, within my people, and within my fallen clan. I’m positive my parents were killed in that explosion back in that village, so I’m the only Akiyama left. I’m loyal to the Hidden Leaf now for saving my life; it’s the least I could do for such gracious hospitality. I lost my temper back in that spar with Sasuke and I now know I should learn to control my anger around your team, so I apologize, Sensei.” I slowly got up from the bed and gently fell to my knees in a bow, making sure that my head was down low so Kakashi couldn’t see the glint within my eye. I could feel his gaze burning into the back of my head as if he were judging me on the spot, making up his mind on what he was to do with me. My wary gaze lingered over the hardware floor as I ignored the slight sting coming from the wound on my side. I felt like crying at that very moment, but knew that crying would just ruin everything that I had worked for over the years.

‘I was my father’s tool, his tool of destruction and utter chaos. I was nothing more, and I would never amount to anything besides the downfall of Konoha.’ My clan’s wish would become my doing. I was extremely conflicted, but I hid it well as I lifted my gaze to catch worriment slowly filling Kakashi Sensei’s eyes. A sigh slipped through his lips as he stood up, extending a gracious hand to help me back onto my feet. I accepted his hand in silence as I allowed him to pull me back up; I couldn’t help but flinch as pain sheared through my side, and Kakashi gazed down at the bandage as soon as he realized that I was suffering. He helped me back onto the bed and gently pushed me by the shoulders onto my back; I watched through curious, but guarded eyes as Kakashi silently began changing the bandage. I gazed down at the wound now that it had been uncovered, and I quickly averted my gaze, regretfully wishing I hadn’t bothered looking at the bloody mess. There were so many stitches holding the gash together that I lost count after the first dozen; I bit the inside of my cheek in order to keep myself from whimpering as Kakashi began cleaning the wound with an alcoholic swab. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine my mother’s face for comfort, but she was merely a blur in my memory. Kakashi Sensei had finished patching me up as he focused his gaze on my face once again, a remorseful look appearing within his gaze. “I hope you’re feeling up to par because the Hokage has requested your presence.”