Together forever

Chapter-21

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The sound invaded my sleep , waking me up suddenly. I felt more groggy than I usually do. Probably yesterday night was probably one of the bad nights.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

That annoying sound again. What on earth was that sound anyway? That definitely wasn’t my alarm. Maybe someone changed my alarm tune to this annoying sound.

Feeling unbelievable weak, I tried to reach my phone but my hands wouldn’t move. Unwillingly, I tried to peer open my eyes but they wouldn't open. Nor would any other organ of my body move. Panic started to gets its claws into me making the beeping sound more frantic.

I tried my best to calm the growing nerves so that I could concentrate better on my surroundings. Once the blood pounding in my ears subsided, I could hear another sound along with the constant beeping. Sound of someone sniffling.

Wait... not just someone. Its Kay and this knowledge immediately relaxed me. If Kay is here, then I am safe. She was talking to someone in very low voice. Straining my  ears, I tried to concentrate further on those low voices so that I could make out further about my predicament.

“Shh... Kay. It’s okay,” said a male voice making me smile mentally. Its Jake. Jake is here. But why didn't I know. May be he wanted to surprise me.

More sniffling. Why is Kay crying though? She would be jumping with happiness normally.

“It's not ok Jake. Can't you see. I failed them. I failed them so miserably that she is now on that bed,” Kay said. Failed whom? What are they talking about?

“Stop beating your self Kay. It wasn't your fault. She went through a lot Kay,” Jake spoke softly.

“Yes she did. And I wasnt there for her when it all fell on her. Can you believe that when she needed me, I was in my room fucking my boss? How can I be so selfish Jake?” Her voice grew louder. Filled with so much self disgust. Her sniffles turned into small sobs making my heart ache.

Kay's boss Adam was one of the best persons I have met in my life. With him, I saw Kay behave her age for the first time. He made her really happy. They happily announced their relationship few weeks before we lost Aaron. He was sweet, caring and everything she deserved. He never left her side while she was going through the pain of losing Aaron. He was there not just for her but for us. He made sure we ate and drank. He always made sure to let us know of his presence all the while giving us space to mourn for the person we loved and lost. Without him beside, I dont think Kay would have coped up well.

But what's with this self hatred stuff? Did something go wrong between them?
Searching my almost numb brain proved to be a bad decision, as snippets of previous night invaded my mind making it hard to breathe. The nightmare. Aaron's dead eyes. The horror. My self loathing. And... my attempt to end my life. A wave of nausea passed through me at the memories. At my pathetic attempt of ending the misery and the selfishness.
Kay. I am the reason for the pain behind her voice. Once again, I am successful to bring tears and hurt to that one person who cared. Some one who gave up a better life to give me one. She blames herself for my weakness. God, how can I be this selfish.

The beeping sound reached a frantic level making Kay and Jake jump to their feet and reach me. Jake kept shouting for the nurse while Kay held my hand in a wise grip. Her tears dripping without a break. Her voice breaking with every two words. She kept repeating the same words. ‘Don’t leave me’.

‘I am sorry’ I wanted to say.

‘Dont hate me' I wanted to beg.

‘Its not your fault,’ I ached to reassure.