Imperfect Hearts

2

The moment I reached my new sanctuary, I was ready to sleep like a log. But, alas, when you move into a new house, you have to do many, many things inorder to make it 'your home.'

My initial plan was to buy an apartment here in New York, but Owen insisted that I use his house, the one which was occupied by his friend until a year ago. He said and I quote: "Why spend money when you have a home? That's ours, you can live there."

And when love and affection is the language, I never say no. So I nodded with a smile, gave him a super duper hug and decided to stamp my existence in their house. Plus, Owen's right. I could use that money for dad's treatment purposes.

"I'm home." I said enthusiastically to no one as I opened the door. It was me, my weird ass and my self love in here.

But I had Frank and Agatha, a grumpy seventy year old couple, living right next to me. At first, I thought they hated me for moving in because they just carried on watering their plants as if I hadn't said a chirpy hello, which made me feel pretty stupid. It took me two hours and grumpy response from my across the street neighbour (whose name I forgot) to realise that they had a little difficulty in the hearing department. So, when I attempted another hello louder, she gave me a tight, guarded smile while her husband just gave me a nod.

Great.

Does being old make humans grumpy? Nah. My grandpa and grandma wasn't this grumpy and I certainly can't picture papa being grumpy.

Will I be rude and grumpy when I'm in my seventies? On top of that, what will be of my hearing and vision? Will I do okay?

I think so. My neighbours are doing okay. Then again, Agatha has Frank. Who do I have? A longterm boyfriend who dumped me because apparently I was 'taking care of my father a little bit too much instead of giving him attention.'

I mean, really? He expected me to leave papa alone with his crushed body and run behind him? No, thank you.

Thinking about Ray was enough to make me furious. But it came handy because in that state of fury, I did everything I had to do in record speed. So, thanks Ray. But you still suck.

After a long shower, which included my Grammy winning performance of the song 'Roar', I did some furniture arrangements and unpacked rest of my things.

I was curled up on my couch, aimlessly switching through Netflix movies when my phone alerted me a text message and I had to crane my neck to take a look at the screen.

8:07pm Godmom sent you a message

Oh, great. Penny's replying now? To a text that I sent hours ago? I stifled a chuckle and grabbed it to read her words of wisdom.

Godmom: He's rocking it.

Godmom: only in it. Rest of the day, he's a pain in the ass.

My chuckle slipped out at her text. There was a time when I suspected if papa and Penny had a thing for each other. I was twelve and majorly stupid. The doubt only lasted for a few minutes and I blame Deborah, my then nemesis, for planting that seed in my head. She said my dad was cheating on my mom right in front of her, with a woman he called his 'friend'.

I remember being devastated and heartbroken that day. I walked into my room like a ghost and decided to observe things. And when I did, the difference in the way papa looked at Penny and mama was so evident that I felt ashamed for letting her words into my brain, even if it was only for a second.

Both were love. Two different kinds of love, which I later realised.

And the next day of school, I earned my first visit to principal's room for punching Deborah in her face. I still remember my parents' face when they got 'the call' from school. Ma was furious and devastated with a look that conveyed 'where did I go wrong!' and there was papa, who was trying hard not to laugh or give me a high five. I know because that's exactly what he did later.