What does it mean to truly become an adult? Introducing a series of 11 short stories about Malaysian youth from various backgrounds discovering themselves amidst a national landscape plagued by social issues and the enduring conflict between traditi...
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The ringing of the school bell pierces my ears, jolting me awake. The laughter of my classmates echoes throughout the classroom. Like I care though. I'm glad I'm finally done with school for today.
I make the long walk down from the third-floor classroom to the front gate of the school. My back feels tired from lugging around my textbook-filled backpack. As I reach the front gate, I hear a familiar voice calling me from the bus stop nearby.
"Ismail! How was class, dude?"
That voice can only come from my friend Ryan. I first met him in primary school, all the way back in Standard 3. His table was next to mine and we became good friends. I wouldn't call us best friends but I'd say we're pretty good friends, seeing how we always talk to each other after school. Ryan is Chinese, and despite the differences in our upbringings. I've never found it hard to talk to him.
"As usual lah, I slept through most of it," I tell him.
"You've been sleeping through your classes a lot recently. Are you okay?" Ryan asks, a concerned look forming on his face.
"I'm fine man, don't worry about it. Just feeling a little lazy nowadays, you know how it is," I reply.
If I'm being honest, I am the furthest possible thing from "okay". I've been struggling with my anxiety and depression for the past few months. Sometimes, it's even hard to get out of bed. It's been affecting my studies, amongst other things. Ryan believes what I said to him, choosing to not press the issue further.
"What about you Ryan? How's everything with you?" I ask.
"Oh man, I thought you'd never ask. I'm going to lepak with some friends on Saturday. We're going to play some futsal. Wanna come?" he asks.
I wrack my brain, debating with myself the pros and cons of going out with Ryan and his friends versus staying at home with my parents. If I go with Ryan, I will have to talk to people I don't know. I don't have the patience for that. I can easily dodge all those unnecessary encounters by staying home. But if I stay home, I won't get to avoid the 'conversation' my parents keep bringing up. Crap. Think, Ismail, think!
I used to be quite sociable but ever since my mental health went down the gutter, I've become quite a shut-in.
"Thanks for the invite but I'll have to pass. I've got to catch up on my Sejarah work this weekend. Go and have fun okay?" I tell him.
I don't want to lie but I don't know how he'd react if he finds out about my problems. I decide against telling him the truth. Plus... it wouldn't be lying if it's an omission of truth, right?
I hear a familiar-sounding honk from a little down the road. I turn to look at it and sure enough, it's Papa. I'm unable to hear him from so far away but knowing him, he is telling me to hurry. I say my goodbyes to Ryan and hurry to my father's car.
