Trapped #Wattys2017

Chapter 1 - The Escape

I was running as fast as my legs would let me. Not knowing what was going through my mind as I was escaping was scary. The noises were still there, following my every move. It was as if someone was trying to control my brain. The feeling was horrifying. Unable to determine who or what it was, I desperately tried to escape. I have had this before but it is just as scary as it was the first time.

I was sprinting as fast as I could, trying to avoid trees and branches spread along the path in front of me as tears rolled down my face. Panting, chocking and losing all control of my breathing as my legs felt like they were going to give way at any moment. I was unfit so all this running was almost hurtful to my muscles, under the weight of my fear and determination to escape.

An hour earlier I was content in my bedroom, reading one of my favourite love novels. The tall, dark and handsome man who fell in love with the pretty, smart girl on a romantic beach. I was dreaming of what life could be like if I did not have this problem.

I was diagnosed bipolar and schizophrenic. I had trouble communicating with the outside world and have panic attacks everytime I try. My parents in the past have sent me for therapy but I never seemed to feel any benefit from it. Although it has all gotten so much worse recently.

I assumed all teenagers go through this. School and nagging parents were surely what every girl my age had to go through. Exam stress really gets to me. I stand outside the school hall before every exam and have a panic attack. It takes about 3 teachers to eventually calm me down enough to get me into the room and to start the test. I would usually manage to get my attention back eventually but it is honestly the worst feeling ever. People would look at me and decide I was a lunatic. Nobody seems to understand what it's like.

My parents don't understand either. My mom would say there is no such thing as mental health as she would put it "back in my day, we just got on with it." My dad just doesn't pay attention and cares more about his alcohol than me and mom. I am used to it now but he can seriously be an asshole when he has been drinking.

I gave up when it came to talking to therapists. All they see was a girl who worried too much and had an alcoholic father and a mother who could not say anything nice about her. I just needed to learn to live with it and as soon as I turned 18 I could run away and live in a different state over the other side of America. 

I just had my 16th birthday. I didn't really do much as I don't have many friends.  I have one special friend though. Her name is Ella. She is the only one who seems to understand me. She is always there for me at school when I cant cope and if things get too much. I have been able to confide in her and trust her. I am happy with just the one friend, everyone else either ignores me or makes fun of me. I went out with Ella for dinner and then came home. Honestly I am happy with that, I wouldn't like a big super sweet sixteen party, I hate having the attention all on me and would panic in a big crowd.

I read a text that Ella sent me , she is talking about an assignment that our English teacher gave us to do that I forgot all about. Crap! Now I am going to either be up all night writing the assignment or up all night thinking about how Mr Bell is going to be so mad at me for not doing it. All of a sudden I heard the voice whispering creepily.

"Leah, Leaaahhh" This freaked me out but I decided to try and ignore it.

Attempting to concentrate on my romance book, again I heard, "Leahhhhh, you are useless and are better off dead!" These words were circling round and round in my head, getting faster and faster. It was driving me crazy.

"I can't take it anymore!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoping to scare off the demon in my mind. Not letting anyone hear me, I ran slowly, quietly out of the house and towards the dark, daunting woods. I knew dad would be passed out on the couch and mum would be in bed watching her soaps away from the drunken slob.

I kept running as fast as I could. All I could feel was fear. I needed to run. That's the only way I know how to escape these dark thoughts. I have had them before. They last for maybe half an hour then I somehow manage to get rid of them when I run from the house. I start to tire and my legs turn to jelly. I last as long as I can but my ankle gives way. I descend to the darkness, hitting a large branch on my way down.

The world I  hated the most, went blank as I fell into unconsciousness.