Tsawke|Tsu'tey/Oc

19-Tìtxen si

I shot up. My heavy eyes squinted in the darkness. My eyes followed the hand that touched my shoulder, up the white coat and to the face. It was Max.

"I need to talk to you about something." He asked.
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Inside the base, in the mess room, he was leaning on the counter to the kitchen. A heavy silence weighed on us both.

"I know you intend to be with the clan, it's all you have now... but there's something- its a big change- I-" he was trying to pitch something to me.

"Max, spit it out."

"It's something to make your transition into the clan easier. But there are risks."
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It was a simple and small change. Not only that, according to him, it wouldn't feel too different either. It's experimental. He's removing my ring finger from my avatar, and doing the same for the feet, removing a toe. But he plans to keep most of the nerves in tact. It'll take a month to finish all of those surgeries and heal them. A month before I can be in my body.

There's a block that all female avatar's have to keep them from having children. Our society is so set on making those with wombs the lesser than those who don't. But as I was saying, the block is another thing that Max is removing. He's making it so all female drivers know about it and have the choice to remove it.

The block is a hormone chip. Placement varies but it can be easily removed. The side effects of taking it off is a wash of hormones in the brain to stabilize it. So, over all, this is going to be a not fun month and a half for me.

Adding insult to injury, Jake already had his ceremony to be a Na'vi.
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I peered out the window at an awake Tsu'tey, sitting patiently, waiting for me to join him. Every bone in my body wanted to break down and cry in his arms and I'm scared that if I see him now, I will.  But I go anyway, because he must be confused.

The cold of the door handle still stings my hand when he takes it, his moves are careful. Like an elephant, he is aware of how big he is compared to me, and makes sure to be overly cautious.

"Where did you go to?" His voice was hoarse and soft. Soft and warm like a blanket pulled from the dryer.

"Max made me aware of the extra work going into my body. And as a result, it may be a long time until I can be back in my body." I looked away from his gaze. It's like a magnet, but it's hard to look him in the eyes.

He was silent for a while, pondering what I said. Silent for too long, so I spoke.

"I can tell him not to, but it would inconvenience him since he and his team had begun work already."

"No, no, I'm just... processing." He was silent again for a while, "we- I... I had a plan for us but now that I'm thinking of it, I can't do those things until the clan is settled, healed, until we're healed, and until I speak with JakeSully." He looked a little defeated.

"What would you talk about with Jake?" I looked up at him from his lap.

"He is Toruk Makto, there is no one more worthy to lead the clan than him. And he is a good leader. I don't know if I can lead them now." His breathing was deep and slow, considerate.

"Tsu'tey, no one is more qualified than you. You have been taught since you where young how to lead. Jake fell into it on accident."

"I don't know if I want to be Olo'eyktan. Now that I have you, I have something more to look forward to beyond a role in the clan." He said quietly.

I thought carefully. He's like any college student. Unsure about what they want to do even though it's all been laid out for them.

"As much as I don't want to let my people down, I want to know life without the burden of leadership." He said. He had his heart set on this now.

"Then... two months, sixty moons, we will do all the things you want to do, and then you will decide what you want to do from there." I offered. He half blinked and nodded. I felt him sigh his burden out and he felt relaxed.
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As scary as it was, for the first week, Tsu'tey had already healed up his wounds. Not only that but he made me feel more comfortable in the body I was born in. At least for now.

We told Jake our plan and he agreed reluctantly, he was only ever a corporal, so leading a whole clan for two months is a big deal.

The next week, Tsu'tey spent getting his strength back while teaching me about the details around his clan, the smaller jobs, and some of their stories.

My favorite, despite how morbid, was about a group of Na'vi who had hands for feet and stole children and small animals in the night. They called them the Tsyakx. Big hand.

And the next week, Jake decided that the people would stay at hell's gate until Tsu'tey made his decision. And at the end of that week, I finally got to witness my bodies decanting.
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Linking in again felt like heaven. But with it being a month since I linked last, it was like the first time. It was tiring quickly but I kept myself awake enough to get used to my new missing appendages.

It didn't feel any different. It felt like I had 4 fingers and not three. My toes felt the same, it was all the same. And, when Tsu'tey saw the missing fingers he was quick to investigate them.

His fingertips traced the small pale scars in between my pinky and middle finger, tickling my me. He compared our hands, and though his are bigger, they looked strikingly similar.

"What made you want to do this?" He didn't sound angry but concerned.

"It was something Max wanted to try, and I happened to be the best person to try it on. It's not any different than when I had the extra finger."

"Are you sure?" He looked back at it with a confused face. I nodded twice, I was certain. It's my body after all.

"Do you know if that Palulukan stuck around?"

"She is around, she seems to be quite taken with the male palulukan Neytiri bonded with." He said, "they stress me out, but the Anurai had one, so now we do too." He tried to relax about it but they are frightening for most warriors.

"How is Txo'nari? The last time I saw her she was injured."

"Call her."

I mimicked the bird call Neytiri makes a lot. Txo'nari, in all of her glowing radiance landed on the pavement and clicked her claws on it, she had never seen it before.

"Txo'nari!" I ran up and patted my friend. Tsu'tey called Tìkawl and we both were off, flying into the sky again.