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║little white lies ━━━ (CHAPTER THIRTY)
content warning; mention of suicide, mental struggles
FOR AS LONG AS SHE COULD REMEMBER, Anemone's mother taught her that killing sinners was okay. The only sacrifice you had to make was stooping low to their level by staining your hands with blood too, least the blood of sinners like them and not innocents. That would be the only difference.
The first time she killed someone it was out of self defence. They attacked her first with the intention to kill so she returned the favour. Simple. If Weeds like them existed in this world in desperate attempts to tip the balance in their unjust favour, then people like Anemone existed to even the playing field. Perhaps in this case, she was too young for this. But that thought in particular had never struck a cord of haunted realisation in her.
Eventually, she grew used to it. Killing people— uprooting weeds. Or so she liked to believe.
As she stood in the bathroom in her lonesome, she stared listlessly at her cup of hands, swearing she saw blood. Blink once and it was gone. Blink again and it was there. Scarlet, scarlet, scarlet. Oh, scarlet, tainting young pale hands. On some days, all she had to do was take deep breaths, remind herself of why she was doing all this and seeing it as a necessity, and then simply move on with her day. But today, it didn't work.
Anemone scrubbed her hands ruthlessly, lathering her palms with soap and washing them in the sink basin. The scarlet was meant to mix with the transparency of the water but instead nothing happened. Blink again. There was no blood. She didn't kill anyone today (yet). It had all been in her head.
'I'm going crazy.' She grimaced, splashing her face with water and gazing into the mirror. 'But you haven't found your father's killer yet and your mother has yet to be proud of you, even if she is a liar.'
The burden she carried on her shoulders turned her into Atlas carrying the sky on his back. It was an exhausting endeavour but one she stubbornly continued to do even after her bones shatter and her mind began to unravel in on itself like a loose ball of red yarn. Burdens were meant to be shared with, she thought, but not this burden. No. This burden she will bury with her to her grave. All the nightmares and the voices of the Weeds gripping the edges of her skull at midnight, teeth diving in to the paper white bones, must be tolerated until the ends of her days. Not even Asta or Yuno shall come to discover her mental turmoils. Especially Asta and Yuno.
Anemone splashed water on her face again, took one more look in the mirror, and headed out to fulfil her mission of the day.
Today, much to Anemone's surprise, she was partnered with the vice captain alongside Mirela for an important mission. This involved providing security for merchants carrying precious cargo all the way to the Heart Kingdom and due to a devastating hurricane occurring west, the usual route was crossed off. The delivery was urgent and needed to be done under a couple of days so the merchants had to take the rare route in which they must pass by the borders of the Diamond Kingdom. Just for precautions, they headed to the Magic Knights for aid.
