WRONG PHONE NUMBER ! TK

it pains me to say

trauma is destructive. it ruins you, massacres your soul, your being. it happens so fast, jumps you out of no where, yanks you by your head to eat the dirt under the ground. one thought is one moment to be rethought.


it was the evening and jeongguk was alone in his house.

he quietly and weakly demanded that he return back to his home, which was something he'd never said before. he was always so comfortable at his 'boyfriends' house, staying multiple nights when he didn't have work to do. did he tell you he has his own part of his closet now? and has a toothbrush there and even has one of his favourite mugs there?

taehyung on the other hand, claimed he had to go to work. but jeongguk bit back his emotions, calmed his breathing and blinked away the gloss in his eyes. because he knew the truth. the cold, hard truth that he'd never be the one. he'd always be another person.

what's really devastating is that jeongguk worked so hard to get out of that mindset. was partially doing 'okay'.

he still couldn't burn away the haunting coldness from his body. hell, he'd even turned the fireplace on for the first time.
the heat simply would enter his body. a flame had been knocked dead, snuffed the illuminating copper that had been present.

his nose was red, throat parched. head like a drum. every dum he was closer to snapping again. he hadn't felt like this in so long. not since...

what he really needed was yoongi. his snarky hyung that held healing properties. he needed to be smothered in cuddles right about now. needed that tea that he'd make with honey in it. needed reassurance, needed a listener to lend an ear to his venting. needed a drink. a kiss?

anything to get rid of this skin-crawling feeling. he simply wanted nothing more but to... vanish.

there was not enough shitty tv in the world to muffle down the thoughts that breathe in his mind.

he sniffles and rubs his nose, puts lip balm on. sitting back and mindlessly staring into the void.

jeongguk fingers itch for his phone, stretching out of his damp sweater paws, the metal cool on his icy fingers and calls a number.

taehyung.

he was taking a bit longer to pick up then usual, jeongguk chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

but then a voice.

"hey, jeo-"

"can you come over? please?"

his voice nervous, light and almost a squeak. taehyung doesn't question it and says he will be there in 10 minutes.

the elders mind was racing in worry, practically on the verge of exploding, quite literally racing to his lovers house.

but jeongguk was hyper analysing what he just did. why did it take so long for him to answer the phone? what was he doing? where was he if he wasn't at work? why didn't he question him? is he guilty? that's why he came so quickly? did he not want to raise any more suspicion? why was he second best? why did he lie? why doesn't he want to be with me? have i done something wrong?

so many fucking questions. so many fucking familiar feelings crashing over him. he doesn't want to go through that again.