The Irish House

reunion

Everyone here at Vere Tas, including myself, are so excited to have you at our school. We train and produce the worlds best ballet dancers. We've never had an Irish dancer attend, but my, are you unique! You have so much talent and potential for ballet, I was amazed watching your performances. Now it's time to get work. I hope you make some amazing memories here. Welcome to the Vere Tas family.

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Never leave a depressed person alone with their thoughts.

She took the knives, the scissors, the razor blades. 

She took my phone, like I'm some child. 

She left a bible on my bed, a CD player with a Dan Moen 'I Will Sing' album and Coldplay's 'A Rush of Blood to the Head', and a book called The Sea by John Banville.

Everything is untouched.

I just lie in my bed, thinking. I feel like I'm stuck in the abyss. It's empty, black, and ominous. I don't know if I'm going to die or not, because I can't see if what's around me may try to kill me.

Adora has been leaving food by the bedside table, that often only gets half eaten. I haven't been downstairs in five days. I'm not saying a word to anyone, I just want to disintegrate here.

There's a knock on the door, and I hear voices. Multiple. And they don't sound like Adora. I sit up, capturing the rainy scene outside the window. 

"Noreen, can we come in?"

We? I swear if they are doctors...

The door opens to reveal three, smiling young adults. Each holding a gift. Boka; tall with a large afro, holds a brown basket. Amy; short, pale, gingered hair girl, holds a bouquet of assorted flowers. And Azi, whose deep melanin shines in the gloom of the hallway, holds a petite black box. 

Five years ago, they threw me a surprise going away dinner. It was the four of us, plus three extra friends, and they blindfolded me on the way to the venue.

It was my favorite chicken shop.

We cried the whole entire time, with our fair share of laughs. It was hard to acknowledge that it would be our last time together, many photos were taken. They were the only people I kept in touch with when I left. But I started to reply less to their messages, between my phone being away for so many periods of time, the time zone difference, and my problems, it never was my priority.

Boka wraps me in the tightest hug, my lungs suffocating.

"Mate, long time! Left us in the dark and came back without telling us?"

Amy embraces me next, "Surprise! Wow, you haven't gained an inch of height. Just like me! These are for you."

She hands me the flowers, and I just stare at them in my hands.

Lastly, Azi looks at me with a deep unreadable expression. He quickly tucks the black box into his jacket pocket.

"Noreen. Welcome home."

My best friends since we were wee things.

"I didn't know you were coming over." I tell them still shocked.

"Adora called us to say you had arrived in Ireland last week, and that we should come over. I still can't believe you're here." Amy says.

All three of them hug me and jump up and down, my energy lower than theirs.

"I wish it wasn't raining so much, I wanted us to go out. Lets go to the kitchen, I know that fridge is stacked." says Boka.

The energy shift has lifted my spirit that has been in a deep ocean. Adora has been the only one trying to help me, but I guess it's a smart move to bring Azi, Amy, and Boka. 

We walk downstairs, but I'm wary about bumping into my siblings or parents. Maybe they're out or in the other house. I hear them outside my doors at night, my nephews and nieces small feet cast a shadow, their voices begging for me to come out.

Aunty Nor. We want to play with you and make you feel better. Everyone is sad.

It left tears on my pillow. I can't imagine how scared they might be about all the yelling that happened. I'm trying not to think about it.

Boka and Amy race to get to the fridge first, pushing each other out of the way. They have always behaved like Dumb and Dumber, but they're actually very intelligent people.

I turn around to Azi who's eyes hasn't seemed to leave me.

"Uh, you want anything?" I ask him nervously.

He smiles, "What's important is that you eat something."

Azi, always looking out for others.

My stomach cries on cue, and I powerwalk to the two women acting like children.

I prepared some fruits on a plate that me and Azi share, and Boka and Amy warm up leftover pasta. We sit in the living room sofa, careful not to make a mess. When I was eight, I accidently spilled malt on the carpet. I feared for my life, and Adora put a 3 year ban on eating in the living area. 

It's like we never left here. Cork is a second home to them since they would always come over, sometimes with their own families, and have sleepovers, and winter and summer hangouts. Adora adores them more than some of my own cousins.

"This is kind of insane and unexpected. You all look so...healthy!"

"Well, when you have your dream job as a graphic designer--"

I clap my hands in excitement for Boka. Her hands were always moving wherever we went, whether it was drawing or painting. You can't tell her nothing, she is creative and bright.

"Studying to get my degree in Education." Amy chimes in with food in her mouth.

"Financial Internship." Azi says.

I give him a weird look, "Mate, I thought you were going to play in the Premier League!"

He laughs, but his faces drops a bit, "It wasn't realistic for me. Or should I say to my family. It was just silly."

I feel bad for him. It's many times that parents douse on their kids dreams. I know.

I smile, "I knew you were all going to be super successful."

"Yep! Remember when we promised that when Azi went to the League, I would be his manager, Amy would be his assistant, and Noreen would be his wife!"

We burst out laughing, shedding tears. It dies down after a while, and we continue eating.

"So what's for you?" Azi gently asks me.

I play with my sleeve.

"Well, I left the school in Toronto, so I don't really know. But I'm doing fine."

They look at me disappointed.

"You don't have to act. We heard what happened." Amy says.

My eyes don't look up to meet theirs. There's been so much said about me, I can't tell what they have been told. It pains me that they know.

Amy reaches for my hand, "I cried when I heard that you tried to take your life. I just wanted to protect you and hug you and..."

She pauses, as tears pool in her eyes. My eyes resembles the same, and I break.

Nothing more is said, as four friends reunite in sadness.