MLBY: 8TEENTH OF LIVING

Chapter 2: Why do I want to die once?

Why do I want to die once?

All the people I've to ask and know somehow answer the same. Well, I just ask them why do they want to live for so long. And there are others from fictional even creating stories with mortality concept. We obsess about wanting to live forever, as it may not really exist. That's ridiculous for me though for them it's a good hype to do a lot more things. But living for so long is quite exhausting, too. We perceive life as a beautiful paradise if we just keep seeing it that way, along with the covered lies and lies behind the curtains. But that is fine as well. No one wants to break the form.

I wanted to die right now, but why? Must I have a deeper reason to be dead at an early age? I mean, it's nothing new young ones die early too. So why not now? If we all going on the same page. It's not even a loved reason to compare with. And it is not must be something like how the chemical reactions of human beings released when they are happy or sad. Or is it even relating to psychological explanations too? I don't think so.

To begin this, I want you all to know with open minds to not try your best to understand these words, apparently, the obvious excuse is to not make it more complicated. Less of digging negative reputation less of digging your own grave. 

 Well to cut the story short being noisy to someone else business will put your lives into jeopardy and we may not want that but maybe since some of you like the thrill. Not the aftermath though just plainly the thrill, we will solve this puzzle Eve leave behind her mystery journal. When Eve was around 16 and felt so bored to herself and a little bit of carefree but sometimes aloof, she was discarded by the ugliest of her past. In her early 20's she thought she was dead already just walking around the corner and breathing still fine. 

But then there is one time she was heard and seen it was just a feeling of loss for a while, it just an air of thought, jus feeling sad very, very very sad. And then I ask her "are you not dying anymore?" Eve understands that we may grow and see beauty in life but life is also our end. She sees things clearly and did not forsake the things that are temporary for us. Then she made me realize that there is always another version of these bottled-up feelings, we don't need to be sad anymore. Because death is not always meant we are gone. But, why do I want to be dead? said Eve, it means to kill the dying you so you can start to see your worth again, we matter as we breathe we die twice when our physical form leaves unto this world and when our memories fade with that person. And I just want to die once not twice.