Keep | k.sj.

7.

The warming sun shone like glitter through the curtains. Seokjin remained asleep and my stomach reminded me I hadn't eaten for a while. I eased out of bed as quietly as possible, plundering through Seokjin's room until I found one of his cute pajamas. The pants would be a weird fit, but the shirt would do nicely. I slipped it on and tiptoed to the bathroom, closing the door softly behind me. I stood in the mirror staring at the woman standing in the middle of it, wondering if she was the same from hours before.

Remnants of my passionate night with Seokjin dangled from my skin like Christmas ornaments. What is it about the holiday season that makes us cheerful one minute, then regretful the next? Not saying I regretted my night with Seokjin, only-I wished it happened before. The source of our passion derived from a jealous fit, but why couldn't it be because we cared for each other. Does he care about me beyond friendship?

I spent a little time with a quick morning routine before I exited his bathroom. Seokjin remained asleep, peaceful and still. I didn't want to wake him, so I left the bedroom. I adjusted the blinds in his living room, allowing the sun to shine through. Snow still covered the grounds, and people are making their tracks into it. Each footprint harboring a story. A journey. I wondered the tales my own tracks would tell, especially involving the man whose apartment I'm in.

Drawing away from the window, I sauntered into the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what I could make for breakfast. A carton of eggs caught my attention, and suddenly I craved a breakfast sandwich. Of course, Seokjin had everything I need to prepare breakfast for both of us. Perhaps this would wake him-I tend to make a ruckus in the kitchen.

There had only been one other time I've cooked for him-thinking of it now made my heart fluttered. It was late. Seokjin visited my apartment after midnight, eyes watered and red-stained. The minute I opened the door, he fell into my arms, sobbing. My heart ached for him even when I didn't know the source of his pain. Once inside, I sat him down on my couch while I prepared us my favorite tea. I don't enjoy seeing him sad. It broke my heart in ways I never knew existed. No one enjoyed seeing their friend hurt, and this night I realized Seokjin was more than a friend to me.

I comforted him and allowed him to spend the night. We slept on the couch, snuggled with each other, and I made breakfast for him the next morning before he had to return to his dorm. We bonded, both realizing how much we meant to each other, even though my feelings dug a little deeper. I knew I was falling for him then, but I kept my feelings a secret.

Seokjin is an idol, not the first idol I've come in contact with, and he won't be the last as long as I worked for a television network. Their jobs are already demanding and considering a relationship with one is as stressful as it sounds. I've seen him date in the years we've known each other-most were other idols. It never seemed serious until he met his ex. She had a toxic hold on him, and I worried about my friend getting hurt by her. I was right. He got caught up in bliss until his blinders faded and he saw her true colors. An idol herself, she cared about the glitz and glam. Dating for her was a hobby and Seokjin became her statistic.

Still, the fact he flaunted her in my face at a network party because he saw me talking to an actor doesn't excuse his behavior. Perhaps, I'm still a little sour from it.

I explained to him if I dated anyone, they wouldn't be in this industry. I'm a simple girl who enjoyed a simple life-nothing about being with an idol is easy. It scared me honestly, and I'm not sure if I would make them happy. Even though I've fallen for one, I don't think I would meet his standards. Perhaps sex is all we will have. This thought turned my stomach into knots.

My night with Seokjin was unbelievable, and I get chilled thinking of it. Kissing him is one thing, but allowing him to go further will make us much more complicated than we already are. He's a weakness I could never recover from. He's in my heart. My soul. I care for this man, but my fears won't let me go any further.

The aroma of the breakfast filled the room. I was about to wake him before I plated our food until I heard his footsteps approaching. Sleep lingered in his eyes, and his hair a little disheveled. He wore the bottoms of the pajama top I wore. In a way, we matched, and seeing this made me smile. Seokjin raised his brow before grinning at me, and my heart fell to my knees. He was breathtaking.

"I wondered why my set was incomplete. Now I see." He smiled. "Looks better on you."

Now it was my turn to blush. "Of course it does." I teased.

Seokjin entered the kitchen as I plated our food. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed even more. "Looks delicious," he complimented.

"I hope it tastes as good as it appears," I replied while reaching out to grab the dishes. Seokjin took the plates from me and walked towards the table. He eased the chair from the table and glanced at me, signaling for me to sit. "Jin," I called. He gave me his look of superiority and I shook my head, smiling at him.

I sauntered over and glanced at him before I took my seat. He kissed me, taking my lips to his before I even had a moment to react. "I'll take it from here," he whispered at he eased away.

I obliged, as always.

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