Plattenbau

14. The past

Ed took a few calming breaths, and then finally knocked on the old wooden door.

Wasn't it blue the last time? Ed wondered while narrowing his eyes at the flaky, dirty door frame that had dozens of paint layers over each other, the newest being a snot green.

Mom would have hated this. Ed thought, remembering that green was her least favorite color and that she had even forbidden him as a teen to paint his room any shade of the color. The bastard never cared. He even wore it on purpose to piss her off.

He nervously fumbled around with the car keys in his pocket, waiting for someone to answer the door. It took what felt like hours before the door finally opened and Ed was greeted by a blond, slightly chubby teenage boy that looked an awful lot like a younger version of himself.

They both hadn’t said much more to each other because neither of them really knew what to say. After all, it had been quite a long time since they had last seen each other. Ed wasn't even sure if the kid even really remembered who he was.

Ed nervously scratched his stubbly chin and then asked, "Is your mom home?"

The boy nodded and then yelled, "MOM!" Before he turned around and rushed up the old wooden staircase that Ed himself had walked up and down so many times.
When looking at it, he noticed that the handrail was still missing from when he had gotten his head stuck and his father had to saw it off to get him out.
A cold shiver ran down his spine when he remembered the brutal beating he had gotten afterwards. Ed sighed and shook his head.

"He is dead. Stop thinking about it." He scolded himself while stepping over the threshold of his childhood home.

He closed the door and just a moment later, his sister popped out of the kitchen.

She had visibly aged since the last time he had seen her. Her dirty blood hair had streaks of gray in it now, and her once sparkly blue eyes looked tired and listless, as if all that fire she had had been burned out.

"Edgar, what in God's name are you doing here?" She asked while wiping off her hands on the floral apron she was wearing.

Ed cleared his throat and hesitantly replied, "I was in the area, so I thought I would come visit you. Can't I visit you guys?"

He had tried to sound as calm about it as possible. But, when she tilted her head and squinted her eyes, he knew she could still see straight through his bullshit even after all those years.

"Well I... I thought..." He helplessly stammered, and tried to come up with another explanation why he had come back even though he had sworn almost ten years ago that he would rather kill himself than ever step another foot into the small farmhouse.

But, before he could get even a single word out of his lips, Anna already stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, Ed was too overwhelmed by her gesture to respond. But then, he sighed and put his arm around her shoulder.

He genuinely had thought she would be angry with him or even hate him for leaving her to take care of their ill mother. But instead, she just seemed glad to see him again.

After a moment, she took a step back and looked up at him. "Edgar. This is your home just as much as it's mine. You don't need to come up with excuses to come here. I'm just happy you finally decided to come home." Her words held so much warmth and love but Ed still couldn't keep away the feeling of dread when she referred to this haunted place as his home.

This is not my home! If it were my decision I would burn it all to the ground! Ed thought. But, he managed in the last second to bite his tongue and to swallow the words down before they could leave his mouth.