Never Fade

Jeanne

JEANNE

            I got home early from school and stop at a coffee shop to grab some latte and bake cookies. The setting reminds of how Matthew and I met last week. Ten days have passed but it saddens me the most that he haven’t sent any message to me at all. I went home startled to who I see.
I gasp
“ What are you doing here?” I said

He sits on the couch like a king smiling at like I’m his servant.
 I roll my eyes. He is still the same bossy brother he always was. I am hoping things will be different between us now. Peter is twenty-seven and I’ll turn twenty-one two months from now, so if we can’t get along better than we did as kids, we’ve got a lot of growing up left to do.
“ Hey sis! Miss me?” He offered me a hug. Instead, I refused and headed myself to the kitchen.
“ Peter! What the hell are you doing here?”
“ Mom and Dad sent me”
“ Fuck you. Don’t lie to me”
“ I’m not lying, you know.”
Asshole.
“ Mom said that you need someone to look over you. This apartment is indeed too big, we can fit in here”  He is joking.
“ Go away. Find a hotel ” I smirked
His suitcases was laying on the floor, so I grabbed it and attempted to throw them away.
“ Whoah-whoah-whoah! You do not do that Jeanne. Its FRAGILE ! Mom and Dad will be mad at you”
“ Don’t be such a meany Peter. You are too old enough”. Peter grabs his suitcases and placed them near the dining table. Now its my turn to sit in the couch.
“ How you doin by the way” making his cowboy accent.
“ Its like you care anyways” I growl
“ I’m serious Jeanne” His voice was flatten and monotone.
I just look away.
Peter sits beside me and places his arms across my back. I shrugged.
“ I’m your older brother, Jeanne. Tell me”. I turn to face him. Sparkly jade eyes, thick eyebrows, fair complexion of the skin, rosy cheeks like mine, pointy nose...and strong scent of his perfume. Yep! My brother.
“ I’m just preoccupied these days” I said
“ Okay, since you are mind wreck. How about I bring some of my friends tomorrow night and lets go out for a drink, or we could watch the game here”
“ I cannot afford to clean all your mess in the morning. So you should go out tomorrow night”
He laughed and hugged me tightly in the neck. I almost couldn’t breathe.
Its warm and overwhelming to be doing this, mindless about that we are both adults already.
Peter stood up and pick his things in the kitchen and go near to a door.
Apparently, he going to my room.
“ Not there! No No No No. You do not want to see an after math of a train wreck”
“ Hahaha! I can afford to witness breadcrumbs of it”
I put myself away from the couch, leading him to the spare room that already has a bed.
So this what the other room in my apartment is all about. I used to make it as my storage room.  Boxes are in there. Containing old books, magazines, Mom’s vases, artificial flowers, puzzles games, stuffed toys, comic books and children magazines.
We entered the room and Peter said. “ Smells like vintage in here”
I nod agreeing to what he just said. “ I will be donating them. So, can carry those boxes outside because they are to heavy for me.”
While Peter is transferring the boxes from his room, I went to inside my room to get extra bed sheets and pillows and blankets.

When I got in, the room was already clean and organize. I handed Peter two pillows, a blanket and bed sheets. He immediately pull his phone and texted someone.
Peter rubs his chin smiling. While I was standing in the room waiting for him to call my attention.
“ Ughhh, Jeanne. Do you mind if we’ll hang out with a bunch of my friends tomorrow night”
“ I thought we are inviting them”
“ Yes, we are”
“ How many are they?”
“ It doesn’t matter anyways”
I let out a sigh. I make my way out when Peter murmured something.
“ Huh?”
He raised a brow and said “ Huh?”
“ You saying somethin’?”
“Hmmmmm... how are you about Dave?”
Shoot!
I choked
Dave. That asshole.
My heart was stuck for a moment I was suffocated.

Dave was different from Andrew, far even beyond.  Dave was an athlete who almost a reader and a future write, to be. I was madly in love with him. He is just very addicting.
We met at Brooklyn Bridge Park, I sat on the yellow seesaw. Dave had his second run and I was kind of distracted because he looked at me. I honestly noticed him but I don’t know about his perspectives, was he paying attention at me? Or was I just assuming?. The sun was beating and so I moved towards the shadow of a tree facing the elephantine bridge and skyscrapers of Brooklyn. The river was conglomerating like a stone. Suddenly, someone sat beside me.
“ Ain’t it hot today”
I turn to my left, ecstatic. He is just a few meter away from my landing position.
Masculine body.
Hot.
Sweat is dripping from his neck down to his tight gray shirt. For a second I was awed. He looked like a super star or the son of the senator. It was like staring at undeniably beautiful painting that you could keep your eyes on it forever. Reminiscing. It was like an image to be forever kept.
But now, I don’t want to remember that image.
Not anymore.

I shook my head “ I thought you knew about it. Dave and I are not in concern anymore”
“ Yeah, I knew “
My brother knows? How?
Cautiously, he said “ I got connections. Of course, I care about my little sister”
I smiled but feeling drag of hurt to remember his name.
A part of me died.
A part of me lives.

“ Just take a rest Peter. You must be exhausted from travelling”
Then I had my way out.