Rocket | H.S

eleven

( not his )

I felt like I was just at a school camp again. Something about this feels so calming to my inner child's heart. School camps were my favourite experience to look forward to as a little kid, even as a teenager in high school. 

They were so fun, and I always showed off my outdoor side of me, and the part where I had guts and could fight for myself. 

I'd be the girl that would get the chocolate because she showed 'outstanding results and bravery' with every little group and singular activity I did. I felt like I had finally belonged somewhere for once in my life. Giant swings, leap of faith, high ropes courses, hut buildings, zip lines and cannoning. 

It was something I looked forward to every year. 

In the night, when we all lay in our cabins exhausted from the day, we experienced that was when it all changed. I knew I was a day closer to coming home to face it all again. Whether it was my dying mother, my anger filled brother or the father that never really loved me. I just never wanted to leave. 

Until it became returning to my boyfriend who pretends to care for me, so he can use me and abuse me. 

School camps were just a getaway with fun activities to distract me. 

This was totally different this time round. 

The Australian Track and Field team were located this school campground. It wasn't for the purpose of using the tools I once did as a kid, it was so we were all in the same spot, a little further out from civilization and close to a track where we could train on in preparation for our big day. 

Me and Faith decided to get dinner a little earlier tonight so we can have a good sleep tonight. There was no one in the dining hall, apart from the kitchen staff and a few coaches in the corner. Unless we went on our own little adventure, it was the only time me and her could be alone. 

We shared cabins with eight other people. Three sprinters, three throwers and two other long jumpers. There was a mix of us all.

"Look..." Faith spoke up with a little voice. "Never wanted to even touch base on this but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't overcrowding my thoughts." 

I knew what was coming, I could see it from a mile away. From the way she alsways goes to ask something, then stops and retreats to the way she always loves to see pictures I share of Harry. My mouth falls into a small smirk, just thinking about my life behind closed doors. 

"Harry?" 

"Yeah, sorry if it's too-" 

"It's not. I trust you anyway. I obviously can't just share whatever willingly, but for the most part I'm happy to discuss it. Ask away." I interrupt her. 

I'm fairly sure she wouldn't ask anything too out there anyway. I know there might be a question here or there that I'll have to be careful about, but if she crosses the line all I have to do is raise that and I know she won't say anything remotely close to that again. 

It was good to get these things off my chest to someone who had no idea what it was like. Now she has a little bit of light on her and a few people that are going to look up to her as a role model. She can understand just a tiny nibble of how intense it can be being under the light. 

It was either her or Amara, and even though I do tell Amara everything, I was now telling someone who had no insight into the boys or how we lived. 

It is so refreshing.

She was about to enter the light of people knowing her name and success. Maybe a few stories here and there about her dream as a kid, which to even she has expressed as stressful. Shes told me countless times about how she couldn't even imagine what life is like for me and how it would've changed so dramatically.