Rocket | H.S

fourteen

( little things ) 

Harry Styles

Sitting down on a couch is possibly the best thing for your body after a show. You can just feel the relief inside of all your bones, muscles and even mind.

On the road, Your mind is just so fragile.  You see girls who just look so bored of seeing your face, you start to question why you are even here, putting in so much effort for people who just don't care and have to show off their money. Then, you get the other fans who have clearly waited for this moment the second they got hold of the tickets. 

They always shine, shine so bright. They have this glow about them, like it's the best moment and memory ever handed to them. It makes me happy that someone like me can bring them this much happiness. 

That's where it turns dark again though. I could never just accept the fact I have whole stadiums worth of people in every city coming to shows to look at me? What if they did find out about my past, who I am? 

People dig so far into mine and the boys lives, I just don't understand why. It scares me, it scares all of us really. The weight on my shoulders isn't just heavy, it carries another type of heat on it. They don't know me, who I am and what I've done. The bad I have created, the laws I have broken....

All for love though right. 

That's my only protest against the world if they somehow crack into Polly and I's mind's. All I have inside of me is that I can proudly and passionately say that I fell in love with a girl I shouldn't have, but it happened and look where we are now. 

In this case, pride and passion will not pull me out. So instead, I pray every night that Penelope our daughter will wake up tomorrow with me in her mind, that Polly will wake up still in full contact with me. 

These shows are so fun, but they make me very aware of the things I have done that pull me down. So, I take all advantage of the arenas that I stay at sometimes. 

We have three ways we can escape at a show that we stop at. We can go to bed, a room just full of single beds and a couch for us. I do this when the other boys would describe me as depressed and aggravated. A bad habit i have created for myself is never being able to stay awake properly when I'm sad. 

Our changing rooms, which are very small and cramped anyway. We all avoid this area. Not only is it not really in our interest's, but we'd get screamed at by our stylists team if we had lost or damaged anything. We can just repay them with a click of the fingers, but it's not even that. It's a respect thing. 

 The last place we crash is just the common room areas. Typically, we would have a tv and a few couched laid out somewhere. Some food and drink stored in mini fridges and maybe a board game or two stocked somewhere in the shelfs. 

We only get these privileges if we stop anyway. More than less, it's just finish the show, grab our things and head off onto the road again.

That's why we really use these rooms when we can.

The food varies massively but the smell of the room never does. It's always the smell of clean linen mixed with the dust of whatever corners the cleaners have forgot to reach. Either way, there's something so relaxing about these spots. The ping pong table is our only request, but they never fail us.

It's just a good wind down space. We have everything we need but not much at all.

The silence of the room I'm in is soon interrupted when Louis comes in, bouncing a soccer ball he brought along for all of us to use when we were stuck deep down in our boredom.