Adoption-SBI

Chapter 37?

TW: Cussing, ED, Negative Thoughts, Self hate.

Tommy POV:

We head downstairs after hearing Phil call us down for breakfast.

I see that there are 5 spots at the table with empty plates, and all the food's in the middle of the table so we can serve ourselves.

(WHY DO I SMELL BACON WHILE WRITING THIS!?? ITS ALMOST MIDNIGHT WTF)

I sit next to Tubbo on one side of the table, Techno tries to sit next to me, (probably to make sure I eat) but Phil sits next to me first.

Phil is seated on the end of the table with Techno across from me and Wilbur across from Tubbo.

Once we're seated, the others begin placing food on their plates.

Looking at the delicious food in front of me, one part of me wants to eat an amazing meal, and forget about whatever the voice is saying. Yet the other part of me is stopping myself.

Is eating this food really worth it with all the guilt that comes with it?

I grab my plate and put some food on it in an attempt to get the others to not worry.

Ending up putting one piece of bacon and a small bit of scrambled eggs on my plate, I'm still fighting with myself.

There's a fucking battle going on in my head istg.

After a little- no, a LOT of hesitation, I grab my spoon and slowly get a small spoonful of scrambled eggs.

As I'm raising the food to my mouth, the voice is SCREAMING at me to stop, yet another voice is actually urging me on, telling me to eat it.

I quickly shove the spoonful into my mouth, wanting the voices to stop fucking fighting.

As I swallow the food however, the good voice seems to have disappeared. I'm stuck with the bad voice yelling at me for being such an idiot.

As I realize that the good voice is gone, I immediately feel regret, and it's like a pit forms in my stomach.

I shouldn't have trusted the 'good' voice.

(If you were to name ur negative thoughts, what would it be?)

The urge to run to the bathroom and puke my fucking guts out is overwhelming, yet I know that this time, I have to keep the food down.

There's NO way I would be able to go to the bathroom directly after eating AGAIN and not arouse suspicion.

It's only one bite.

But that's one bite too many.

I use my fork and move around the food on my plate to make it seem like I ate more.

I look up to see that everyone's in conversation and no one's looking back at me.

I smile to myself, knowing I won't get caught again this meal.

A/N

Hello 👋

How're u?

Your amazing, you know that right?

U look beautiful/handsome/gorgeous!

I love you <3