Adoption-SBI

Chapter 11

TW: ED, Negative Thoughts, food, mention of nightmares and panic attacks.

Tommy POV:

I wake up to the morning sun shining through my open window.

I just wanna stay in bed all day, I don't want to talk about anything. I'm not good at talking about my feelings.

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After about 3 hours of just laying in bed, I decide it's better to get the talking over with rather than put it off till later.  So I muster up the courage to get out of my bed and walk to my door. I open the door quietly and just listen for a minute. I hear all three of them talking downstairs before I walk over to the top of the staircase.

I mentally prepare myself and take a deep breath before slowly walking down the stairs.

As I reach the bottom, I see Techno, Wilbur sitting at the counter talking while Phil is cooking something.

"Tommy!" Phil notices me, "We're gunna eat breakfast and then we'll have a talk altogether."

I nod my head and sit down in an empty seat next to Techno before putting my hands in my lap.

Techno reaches over and puts something in my hand under the table to where no one else can see. I look down at my hands to see that he gave me one of the skittles.

I really don't want to eat it, but it's only one, what harm can it do?

I plop it in my mouth and start chewing it slowly. I have to admit, it tastes pretty good. After I swallow it, I smile at Techno so he knows I like it. It tasted good, but I immediately feel guilty.

"You're so fat, why don't you just eat less."

My foster mom's voice rings in my head.

"You don't deserve to eat our  food."

"Tommy?"

"We payed OUR money for this food."

"Tommy!"

"OUR money that we worked very hard for and you just go WASTING it all!"

"TOMMY!"

My head snaps out of thought and I look up as I hear someone calling my name.

I see everyone looking at me and figure out that they asked me a question.

"I'm sorry what?"

"What did you want for breakfast?" I hear Phil's calm voice say. "We got eggs, bacon, donuts-"

"I'm not hungry" I lie as I cut him off.

"He'll have some bacon." I hear Techno say.

See what I did there? Techno? Bacon? Pig? Nevermind...

Phil begins to put some bacon on a plate.

"Actually I-" I begin saying, but then I see Techno sending me a glare telling me to shut up. I decide it would be best to stay quiet.

Phil puts the plate in front of me, "Thank you." I say, my voice sounds a bit shaky but I don't think anyone notices.

I shouldn't eat anything, but I see Techno watching me out of the corner of my eye, so I decide just to eat for now and not eat the rest of the day.

After we finish eating breakfast, I hear Phil speak up, "Let's head to the living room, I'm sure we all have some questions for eachother." I can tell he's mainly directing this at me, but I ignore it for now and start walking to the living room.

I sit at the edge of the sofa, with Wilbur in the middle and Phil on the other side of him. Techno sits in a different chair that is placed on the other side of me.

We sit in silence for a couple minutes as no none knows what to say. The awkward silence was broken by Wilbur.

"So...how have you guys been?" He says in an attempt at starting a conversation.

"Tommy," Phil starts saying, ignoring Wilbur. "What started your panic attack yesterday?"

Very blunt

"Um, well I had a nightmare and I geuss that caused me to panic when I woke up, which sent me into a panic attack." I say, looking at the floor to avoid any eye contact.

"Could you tell us what the nightmare was about?" Will says softly.

Am I ready to open up to them? They seem really nice and they deserve the truth...

"Yeah..." I say nervously before starting to tell them what had happened.

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After I had finished telling my story, I look up to see that Phil had tears running down his face and Wilbur's eyes were filling with tears. Techno was looking at me with concern and sorrow.

"I- I'm so sorry tommy..." I hear Wilbur say.

"Don't be sorry," I begin, "it's not your fault," I turn my voice to a whisper, "Besides, I deserved it." I whispered that last part very quietly hoping that no one would hear it. It seemed like no one heard because no one mentioned it.

"Tommy," I hear Phil start saying, "Thank you for telling us, keep in mind you can always talk to us if you need to."

I tried to make it seem like I told them everything, when in reality, I only told them about my old abusive family.

Techno stands up, "Tommy come here." He says as he grabs my hand, bringing me upstairs. We walk through the hallway before we get to Technos room.

Techno pushed open the not fully closed door and walks inside with me following him. He walks behind me and shuts the door. I sit on his bed and he sits on his gaming chair.

"Now that you've explained what happened, can you explain why your not eating?"

I knew his was going to ask this. I know I should tell the truth, but I don't want Techno to tell Phil.

He seems to sense my concerns as he says, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, this is between you and me."

I sigh before deciding to tell him the truth, "Well, I geuss I just never really feel like I deserve to eat, it's your food that you guys pay for and I just feel guilty eating it. I geuss my old foster families also told me that I don't deserve to eat their food, that they worked hard for. Whenever I start to eat, I'll get flashbacks of people saying mean things like that to me. And everytime I eat, I just feel so guilty." Tears start streaming down my face because I've never told anyone about this before.

I look at Techno to see His face full of worry. "Tommy, don't ever feel like that, you deserve everything we've given to you and more. Please don't feel like you shouldn't eat if your hungry." Techno says.

"But-"

"Tommy, your old foster families were shit."

I sigh, knowing I'm not going to be able to change his mind.

We head downstairs to see Phil and Wilbur talking excitedly about something

"Tommy!" Will begins, "We just came up with something fun we could do today!"

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A/N

Long chapter poggggg

I gotta go to school soon, so I'm ending it here for now.

Sorry for the long wait, I will bully myself into posting more often. 🤪

now, GO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YOU BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME AMAZING PERSON!!!!! <3

(I also didn't proof read cuz I'm lazy)