Tears Of Farida

Ten

Farida had been hunting for a shop within her vicinity for a few weeks now, not wanting to drive a long distance from her house to the shop all the time. The agent she had contacted for assistance called her up to let her know of the available shop so she could go check it out. She instantly liked it, a week later she became the proud owner of a shop.

She got too lonely having to stay alone indoors all day. She didn't want a recur of the state of depression his deceit plunged her into so she decided to get a shop and start up a clothing business. Times like this drove her thoughts back to when Sa'adat advised her about making investments and even setting up a business but then, she saw no need in doing any of these. On a second thought, if she had a business before now, it would have been an easy means for him to find her. So, she owning a business now instead of then works just fine for her.

Farida needed to make some renovations, make purchases for furniture and working equipments to stock up the shop with. She needed more funds which she was running low on, having to pay for the fully furnished apartment she rented in addition to the payment for the shop from her personal account. She didn't want to take out money from the joint account she has with Kamal, she didn't want to have anything of his anymore.

Things like this made her regret some of the decisions she made years back. If she didn't quit her job after their first few years of being married and trying for a child thinking the stress that came with her banking job could be a hindrance to her chances of conceiving, she would have had enough money saved away for whatever difficult situation she finds herself in. She cursed herself for trusting Kamal blindly and making such stupid decisions.

*~*

  '...and to my wife, my better half, my confidante, the architect of my life, the woman I chose to love and be with both in this world and the hereafter In shaa Allah, Mrs Farida Jalal. Thank you for standing by my side from the very beginning and being my greatest motivator. More of such accolades for us In shaa Allah.'

It was an award luncheon. Organized by the Nigerian association of architects(NAA). Kamal was chosen and awarded as the architect of the year.

He ended his speech with a wide and proud smile while she watched, wide eyed and in annoyance as he walked down the podium back to his seat. She switched off the tv.

How dare he go up there and take her name in his mouth?and he smiled all through it, had he no shame left at all?. If he thought of this as a way to make her feel better and return to him then he must be mistaking. If anything, it only fuelled the resentment she felt towards him. Did he really mean all that he just said? If so, then why did he commit such an act of deceit against her? Why?. She asked herself.

'As salama alaikum mummy ', she greeted immediately she swiped on her phone screen to answer the call that came in, cutting short her thoughts. 'Sannu da yamma,'

She silently listened as her mother spoke over the line, contorting her face into a disapproving look as she listened and only responding with 'Ina sauraron ki' at intervals.

'Wallahi I don't intend to return to that house, I'll feel the hurt all over again. I need just a little more time to move on from all that happened and take a different turn in my life.' She sighed exhaustingly.

After a few seconds she spoke again. 'I understand your point. But, why do we have to bother ourselves about what people will say? It's my life not theirs, I choose to do what I want not for their sake but for my own sake. No matter what one does, either good or bad there are people out there that will always point fingers and have stupid takes on your actions. So, I'm not going to change my decision based on how the society views certain things. They're not here to share in my pain so, damn them and how they look at me'. Irritation and annoyance evident in her voice as she spoke.

Realising she had spoken a bit rashly. She pinched the bridge of her nose closing her eyes briefly as she did so. 'I'm sorry, I spoke harshly,' she apologized. 'What am I supposed to do?I can't come home. Baba himself had forbidden me to return back to his house if I ever left my husband, he left me with no choice other than to get a place of my own.'

She went into her small open plan kitchen. Taking a bite from an apple she took out from a fruit bowl that rested on the kitchen top while nodding her head as though her mother could see her then remembering for a split second before responding with words.

'Mummy?', she paused to get a response first before speaking again. 'Thank you so much, thank you for always hearing me out and understanding me. For always trusting that I'll take the right step in whatever I choose to do', she poured out, amidst tears. 'Allah ya miki albarka,' she giggled after hearing her mother say sannu tsohuwa, Allah ya ba ki tsawon rai da kuma gida a Aljannah.' She prayed.

She ended the call and immediately sent her flat address to her mother who had asked her countless times to let her come over and check up on her in person.

Farida had moved out of hers and Kamal's house few weeks after the accident she had. It became unbearable for her to continue living there with him and his sorry excuse of a second wife.

She couldn't stay at her parent's because her father wouldn't let her, he would tell her that 'marrying a second wife is a halal thing to do, Kamal did nothing wrong. So, she shouldn't act stupidly and leave her house.' And he would remind her of his words to her the time she had chosen to stay with Kamal even after her mother-in-law had gone to her parents house to insult and ask them to make their yar' bakarariya leave her son.

It was only with the intervention of Farida's paternal grandparents and Kamal's grandmother, Kaka Jummai did the matter get settled. She could vividly remember how it made her father very upset, he chided her for involving his parents knowing that he would never disagree with their judgement. Then and there, he told her never to return to his house if she ever had a fallout again with either her husband or his mother. Her mother had pleaded and cried on her behalf for him to forgive her action and rescind his statement but, he refused. He had made it clear that he had forgiven her but his words still stood.

So, she made her plans to move out after getting an apartment in an area about an hour drive away from Kamal's house. She didn't want to be close, to avoid being seen by him or anyone who would let him in on her whereabouts.

One morning after he left the house on a business trip, she moved out. She had everything planned out before then, whenever he left for work in the morning for two days straight she would put her packed luggages in her car and drive out to her rented apartment. She left with only her clothes and some other personal belongings.

Not her mother or best friend knew about her plan to move out. If they had known, then they'd have persuaded her yet again to stay. Her mind was made up. She was done staying married to Kamal.

GLOSSARY :
Sannu da yamma : good evening

Ina sauraron ki : I'm listening to you (she)

Allah ya miki albarka : may Allah bless you

Allah ya ba ki tsawon rai da kuma gida a Aljannah : may Allah grant you with a long life and a place in Jannah/paradise

sannu tsohuwa : well done old woman

yar' bakarariya : barren daughter

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