Effulgent

♡ 3 ♡

♡Lilith♡

"Theon?" I ask, I would know his back profile anywhere now. It has been stuck on repeat inside my head since the day I saw him walking away. His body stiffens as he hears my voice, I take a few cautionary steps closer. The room is small, it's one they'd use for speech therapy or counseling. A simple rectangle table with four chairs, and just enough room for a board and space to stand up and write.

It's so confined

"Why are you here?" He asks, resuming his writing on the chalkboard. If he grips the chalk any harder, I fear it's going to break. I hesitate answering him, pondering if I should be honest or once again lie.

A cautionary thought process I have developed over time. I want to be honest; I hate lying but if I told the truth what would happen to me?

"Math tutoring, room 29A" I reply, my mouth dry. I am not sure what might come from my honesty, rather it be more bullying, or he goes ahead and tells everyone that I'm actually bad at some things. Would that be such a bad thing I ask myself as his head drops at my reply. Seemingly disappointed at my confession, like this is the worst thing that could have happened. It seems he would have preferred if I was just weirdly stalking him and decided to corner him in a small room.

My face morphs into one of confusion as I rack my brain for reasons why, fuck I still don't know why he has such a problem with me so suddenly as if I ran over his grandmother the other day and the hate is still fresh. I take another glance around the room

The room with no windows, a one door confined death trap.

My heart begins to beat faster at the thought of no escape, unwelcome memories surfacing that I want buried and gone but I can't stop it. Around seven, I messed up my performance. It was a major show, but I was fucking seven, it embarrassed my father so badly he saw it fit to shove me in a dark room every single day for two years only letting me out to do my homework, per my mother's request.

"She can't do her work correctly in the dark" she'd argue, I used to think she was a saint for that, my defender and savior, not anymore. In that room I ate, played piano, used the restroom and slept. My father had lied to my teachers and said I was on a trip, that he would send me my work so I don't fall behind. Since then, any room I go into I need something, anything to be open so I can remind my brain we are no longer stuck in that dark room.

That I am free

I do my breathing exercises, to no avail.

"Didn't know little miss perfect needed to be tutored" Theon's teasing tone is thick and sharp. Stabbing me so easily, adding fresh wounds to my heart. He's either unaware of my slight panic or simply doesn't give a fuck. With how he is treating me recently I would go with the latter. He finishes writing the beginning problems on the board dramatically and he also dramatically turns around a smirk on his face. The smirk falters slightly when he sees me

"Never been so close to a man before, Lee?" He continues slicing

"Can we keep the door open?" I ask, ignoring his antics, only wanting to end the panic rising within the deepest pits of my heart, scared of what will happen if he says no. I try to plead with my eyes, hoping to communicate how badly I need the door open. Silently praying to any god that can hear me to grant me this one thing if nothing else

"You don't care that you'll be getting tutored?" He questions, needing to take a double take as if he can't believe I would ask something like that, as if I'm scared someone will see me and make my life a living hell as if I am the one perpetuating this "perfect" idea